Good evening i dont know how to put into words how i feel anymore. I just feel so isolated and angry. My dear husband passed away on 16th july 2023 it will be his birthday tomorrow he would of been 63. My life has no meaning im so angry and bad tempered even my dogs dont calm me down. I find everything i do an effort and it takes me so long to do anythink. I dont eat properly anymore i feel the doctors are a waste of time i have no intrest in all the things i use to do. I do go to work but hate my job and only work to pay the bills if the dogs were not here i would of walked away from home. I hate my life now really hate my life. I come home to an empty home.i have grown up children who dont care about anyone only themselves doing drink and drugs so i dont bother with them. The only other person is mum now she is the only person that matters anymore and it kills me to think my mum wont be here one day. I lost my dad and have never gotten over dad and that is 9 and half years now. I still cry for my dad as well as my husband so how can anyone say it gets any easier i dont know. I go to bed can’t sleep i go to work and think of my dad and hubby all or most the time. Life is so unfair and cruel how can this of happened to me. I wouldn’t take my life but i just want to sleep and see my husband and dad but i know jesus is looking out for them but the fact i cant see or hear touch or smell them is unbearable.i just wish i could sleep and not wake but i need to be here for mum i couldn’t leave her behind. Love is more painful than being ill as it never goes away but one thing i can say my loved ones are not in pain anymore thanks to be god
I feel the same, Donna.
Unless people have been through the absolute horror and nightmare of losing a partner they have no idea what it’s like.
Since my wife died six weeks ago my life has become absolutely pointless. I am trying to find positive things in my life but my wife was everything to me. Now she’s gone there’s nothing left.
My family are a complete waste of time and so-called friends are so full of their own lives to even remember that I exist.
I am so grateful to everyone on here for their kindness and support. This is the only place I have found where people really understand what we are going through but I get the isolation. It is not the same as having someone to to hold us and give us a hug when we need it but for me it is the next best thing.
I hope you get through tomorrow the best you can. I know how hard it’s going to be. Do whatever it takes and put yourself first. No one else matters but you.
Thinking of you and sending you a hug, Dave.
Thank you david for yr kind reply. For you its mot that long. I only hope that you are stronger than me intime. It dosant matter how much talking you do. It will never bring them back. When you talk to someone about it you feel a bit better at the time for a short period then you are back to where you was like its just happened again.i dont want to make it sound like everyone is like this but for me i cant and dont want to let go and i would never want to go with anyone eles. My heart goes out to you. You can always talk here take care
Hi Donna,
Thanks for replying and sorry for me not replying earlier. I’ve been busy catching up on something I should have done weeks ago and only just seen your message.
You are stronger than you think you are. You have survived everything life has thrown at you and you are still here. You go to work even though you hate your job. You have stood up to your children because you don’t agree with their behaviour. You are putting up with all of this because you love your mum and because you have immense strength and courage.
Don’t put yourself down. Give yourself the credit you deserve for being an amazing person.
I’m not that strong. I used to be but life has seriously worn me down. I’ve just lost one thing after another and losing Lillian is the worst possible thing that could ever happen to me. I now have to rebuild my life and try to get back to where I was or somewhere near.
I get what you’re saying about talking about our loved ones. It will never bring them back and that is what we ultimately want. If someone comes to visit, it’s still an empty house when they leave. The only consolation is that there is some respite from the loneliness while they are here.
I hope you get through tomorrow the best you can. Look after yourself.