I lost my brother 8 weeks ago due to drugs on a night out. We were not the closest of siblings as we live different lives and have different mums. Ever since the day he died I feel like I have lost a part of me, like the world doesn’t feel the same. The overwhelming feeling I have is making me scared that I am going to feel like this forever. I have other siblings that seem to be supporting each other but for some reason I feel as if they don’t see that I also am hurting. I do not have a history of bad mental health but this has really knocked me for 6 and I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel any different. It is affecting every day of my life and I don’t know how to explain how I feel, I just feel a deep sense of anger and sadness that he was taken so young. I can also see that I am pushing everyone else in my life away. All I want is to be able to feel how I feel without worrying about what other people think of me but no one in my life has that patience. I honestly cannot wait to just get some time on my own. I am 24 but since this has happened I feel like I am so behind in life and that my life is almost over and I haven’t done anything yet that I can feel proud of. I’m not sure what I want from this post to be honest but I can’t sit and not express how I feel anymore.
Hello @Tammy19,
Thank you for so bravely reaching out to the community. I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. Your anger and sadness are completely understandable.
You are not alone. We have many members who have experienced the loss of a sibling and will understand some of what you’re going through. You can read conversations our members have shared on our Losing a sibling category page.
You may also find it helpful to read our Losing a sibling page on our website. It talks you through some of what you might be feeling, and how to cope.
You might also want to take a look at Let’s Talk About Loss. They run meet-ups across the UK for people aged 18 - 35 who are grieving.
It might also be a good idea to have a chat with your GP and see what support they can offer you. You mention that it;s affecting your every day life, and you don’t have to go through this alone.
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Take good care 
I know how you feel. I recently lost my half sister (different mums). It’s devastating, and like you I struggle to find the words and feel guilty/angry that her beautiful life was cut so short 
sending lots of love to you <3
Hi Tammy,
I lost my brother to suicide on the 22nd of September and like yourself we weren’t as close as we used to be as he unfortunately chose his wife over his family.
I am also struggling to come to terms with the loss, I’m a new mum too so I’m finding myself putting a brave face on in front of my little girl but when I do eventually stop to process things I completely crumble.
It’s also horrible seeing my mum grieve for her first born child, it’s the most heartbreaking thing.
I just wanted to say you aren’t alone in this x
Hello Tammy
how are you coping now? I hope you are doing okay and have found a way of coping and don’t feel so alone in your grief. Losing a sibling is life changing, I’m forever changed in many ways, in some ways for the better. Losing my sister at such a young age (she was 21, I’m 48) was the worst shock that we’re all processing but her life and passing has meant that everything has changed. In many ways things have changed for the better as I am finding ways to remember her and live for her. Grief is such a struggle but it’s made me love the people in my life that matter and leave the people who don’t behind.
x