I lost my brother 8 weeks ago due to drugs on a night out. We were not the closest of siblings as we live different lives and have different mums. Ever since the day he died I feel like I have lost a part of me, like the world doesn’t feel the same. The overwhelming feeling I have is making me scared that I am going to feel like this forever. I have other siblings that seem to be supporting each other but for some reason I feel as if they don’t see that I also am hurting. I do not have a history of bad mental health but this has really knocked me for 6 and I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel any different. It is affecting every day of my life and I don’t know how to explain how I feel, I just feel a deep sense of anger and sadness that he was taken so young. I can also see that I am pushing everyone else in my life away. All I want is to be able to feel how I feel without worrying about what other people think of me but no one in my life has that patience. I honestly cannot wait to just get some time on my own. I am 24 but since this has happened I feel like I am so behind in life and that my life is almost over and I haven’t done anything yet that I can feel proud of. I’m not sure what I want from this post to be honest but I can’t sit and not express how I feel anymore.
Hello @Tammy19,
Thank you for so bravely reaching out to the community. I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. Your anger and sadness are completely understandable.
You are not alone. We have many members who have experienced the loss of a sibling and will understand some of what you’re going through. You can read conversations our members have shared on our Losing a sibling category page.
You may also find it helpful to read our Losing a sibling page on our website. It talks you through some of what you might be feeling, and how to cope.
You might also want to take a look at Let’s Talk About Loss. They run meet-ups across the UK for people aged 18 - 35 who are grieving.
It might also be a good idea to have a chat with your GP and see what support they can offer you. You mention that it;s affecting your every day life, and you don’t have to go through this alone.
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Take good care 
I know how you feel. I recently lost my half sister (different mums). It’s devastating, and like you I struggle to find the words and feel guilty/angry that her beautiful life was cut so short 
sending lots of love to you <3