My beautiful sister only had 11 weeks and 5 days from the day she was unexpectedly diagnosed with cancer, it was in so many places but other than a constant pain in her rhs she was working and living life to the full. She had gone back and forward to the doctor and hospital for almost 4 years and was fobbed off every time. I cant get over losing her i just cant accept shes gone or how i will get through life without her. I am angry and sad and lost and absolutely heartbroken. Our lives have changed forever there is nothing to look forward to except meeting her again some day. She loved life and was so happy…why did she have to die? She desperately wanted to live.
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I’m so sorry to hear about your sister, @Nandy. I can hear the pain and shock in your post.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may find these Sue Ryder resources helpful:
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
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Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
Take good care,
Seaneen
Hi so sorry for your loss I’ve just lost (5weeks ago) my 51 year old sister to cancer she was misdiagnosed then diagnosed two years ago with stage 4 cancer so was riddled with it/ I’m struggling daily so can feel some of your pain - the last 4/5 days were the worst … feel so empty/ numb and guess little bit broken inside . Lost mum and dad many years ago so it’s double hard
Hi Nas i am sorry for your loss also 
. What you have described is exactly the same scenario with my Sister the cancer had spread everywhere she didnt stand a chance it was too late! How can this happen in this day and age? Our loved ones were young going about their lives its beyond sad. I am not sure i can ever get over watching my Sister suffer and pass away my heart will be forever broken as im sure yours will.
Thank you for reply my friend - I actually would swap the last 5 days for the previous 2 years as I can’t get the images out of my head , they haunt me … my niece is 24 and is broken too I don’t even know what to say to her. I used to do my sister shopping give her food and talk to her several times a day even tho I have a busy life with 3 kids - I’m lost ? I have a void and I’m clearly broken inside but can’t talk about it . But I do have counselling through work booked next week I think it will help…
I understand completely I am struggling to get passed the traumatic things we saw that will never leave me. I guess i can’t accept she is gone and there isn’t anything i can do to change that. I am supporting my niece and my Mum, but its hard to be strong sometimes when all i want to do is scream. Sorting through stuff has been hard as its like picking through someones life as though she never existed but i know she absolutely did. Its very difficult to overcome this pain. Sending hugs x
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Thank you same to you back
I had a phone counselling session today I was shocked at how much I cried but guessing it helped a lot
Because I hide my emotions in front of everyone / do consider talking to someone ? And obviously message here too as we can understand some of the pain you have
I struggle to tell anyone really
Hi lovely i hear you i have registered with Cruse Bereavement just waiting to hear from them. I’ve had some extremely dark days over the last week and also some days where i have pulled myself together though they are few and far between. I guess its just the realisation that i can’t change what is and i can’t bring my Sister back thats the pain i feel.
Much love x
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Aw it’s honestly no other word than cr*p like I was upset on Friday cos it had been 6 weeks and that really really upset me cos I hated that time
Had gone so quick ? That upset me and made me angry too oddly . I feel sorry for my kids too . Also I strangely told counsellor I feel guilty to feel any feelings or be happy in any way?
I totally get you, i feel guilty being here if im honest. I dont want to laugh or be around people other than my immediate family, because lets face it they are the only ones who understand the pain. I don’t know what the answer is Nas i wish i did. I am very angry too at the doctors, life and just the fact my Sister was taken too soon. There are do many whys! x
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Oh honestly - I can sense and feel your upset and pain - the counsellor talked me through that we shouldant feel guilty as we did nothing wrong , which makes sense. But there is like a huge void in my life all day everyday which I can’t seem to fill? Things seem so unimportant I don’t know how to move on … however many keep saying it’s early days yet but I can’t see forward
The pain is so raw - I can’t unsee what I saw - that’s the worst - I seriously wouldant wish it on my enemy ….then I worry about getting ill myself as I have three small children - anxiety is overdrive x
I feel the same me, my Mum and my Niece saw things no one should ever have to see it was very traumatic and we will never ever forget those moments. My Sister and your Sister didn’t deserve any of this it’s heartbreaking when all they wanted was to live instead they suffered. Cancer is a horrible way to die and like you I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy either its beyond cruel. I think its natural for you to worry about getting ill yourself especially with little ones. I just don’t get why this keeps happening to the good, kind people x
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I look at my niece and want to cry
I look at the sun and want to cry (my sister loved the sun) you right cancer is the nastiest horrible thing someone can have
I worry now that my sister had so much pain but was strong in front of us - almost pointless to think but brain is tortured somewhat … May we get strength x
My Sister loved the sun too, i know what you mean when you look at your niece, i am the same she just looks so lost and sad as does our Mum they were best friends. Its sh*t it really is. I think our Sisters were very brave and probably did hide a lot of their pain from us. They are no longer in pain though, i believe that they will always be with us and that we will meet them again one day for sure xx
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Such lovely words truly - today I’ve oddly cried all day on/off and your words made me smile so thank you . Am always here for you and I’m sure we can get through this
Your poor mum too I can’t imagine as a mother what the feeling would be xx
Its actually comforting to chat to someone who knows what this feels like and the rollercoaster of emitions that comes with grieving your loved ones. I wish it wasn’t like this, but thank you for being so lovely and supportive xx
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I lost my sister to cancer as well…it’s a pain that is hard to describe…
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Hello to both ladies - yeah the pain is indescribable and I think only those who have been through it fully understand like people are kind and can ask how you are but they cannot understand what we have going through … so good to talk here in safe and private space too xx
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Hello ladies
Even when my Sister went into the hospice I was still secretly hoping and praying for a miracle even though in my heart I knew she was going to lose her fight. We didnt have much time only 11 weeks and 5 days from diagnosis so no time to do happy things or make memories because she was in so much pain and watching her suffer like that will stay with me forever. What i hate about cancer is how it slowly but surely strips away a persons personality, their dignity, their laugh, their smile and almost everything about them until finally it takes their last breath…the one thing it could never take was our love. I am so heartbroken i feel as though i am losing myself…the pain is unbearable. I know we all need to be strong, i am just not there yet xx
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Gosh that isn’t long from diagnosis so that must be equally hard and the fact that she was in a hospice must be hard too… I think there is so much expectation to be almost ok day to day that I struggle internally even more ? I feel so consumed by pain and grief and genuinely a void in my heart - my husband was being kind saying be strong but I said you cant understand the feeling inside . I can’t describe the void and darkness