I dont know how to add a category to my post. I lost my best friend after 16 years of friendship. We used to work together, then started going to the movies when my then bf moved abroad and i didnt like going alone. Fast forward 14 years, after weekend visits (when we lived far apart, i moved to another country), weekends away, texts every day unless out of signal. Always there in a crisis. We did so very many thngs together. Everything except be a couple, i loved him and he lived me but he completely reminded me of my brother so we could never have a romantic connection. He was the sweetest, calmest person i knew. The first person to go for everything. Work problem - no issue. Life crisis - happy to talk about it. Crazy thing i want to do - can he come along too.
Then one day he had a seizure before work, was diagnosed with a brain tumour and 18 months later he was gone.
This was almost 10 years ago now and some days the pain is as raw as the day he died. Some days I’m a functioning human being, other days less so. My friends all have their own problems,my siblings too. My partner did meet my friend briefly before he died but does not do well with problems that he cannot solve so he does not cope well with long term emotional issues. He lost both his parents suddenly 3 years ago and appears to have hardly missed a beat in life since the initial shock of it.
Sometimes i feel so lonely and broken.