Losing all my fight

I lost my husband 4 weeks ago. I get up every morning thinking ‘am I feeling stable or fragile today?’ I get through the days one after another. Then I look back and think ‘how have I got through all these days?’ I’m sitting here tonight feeling very fragile and feeling like all my fight has gone.


Hi Jean8,

I know exactly what you mean. Four weeks is no time at all in your grief journey but also feels like a life time. But you will get up tomorrow and do it all again. It is very hard I know. It is coming up to ten months for me and I really don’t know how I have got to this point. I still think/hope my husband is going to walk through the door. In my head he is still alive. I wish I could make things better for you. Do you have family you can turn to? I have grown children but I try not to depend on them too much as I don’t want to drag them down with my despair. I spend a lot of time on my own which doesn’t help. So if you can spend more time in the company of others that might help. Sending you strength and a hug.X


Hi, this journey is a tough one and each day is different particularly when your loss is so recent. I can’t make things better but I hope just knowing you have people here means you are not alone if you need to share how you are feeling. This time of year is making things harder for you but be kind to yourself and keep putting one foot in front of the other
Jen x


@Loobyloo2 and @Jen64. Thank you for your kind words. I have a lovely big, very close family and we’ve stuck together throughout. But they have their own spouses and children and I hate to feel like they are neglecting them. The spouses were also very close to my husband so they have their grief as well. He was such a big part of all their lives. I just hate being on my own. Always have done. I’m so dreadfully sorry for your losses. It’s unbearable sometimes isn’t it? Nobody can understand unless they’ve been through it. That’s why this site is such a Godsend xx.


@Jean8 this site has been and still is a godsend for me at times. I don’t have family support just a couple of friends so my loneliness is soul destroying. You are right when you say nobody knows how hard it is unless they have been on this journey themselves. It’s good that you have family around you but it still doesn’t compensate the loss of your husband. Mike and I were extremely close and enjoyed each others company whether that was out walking, playing mystery games or just watching television we lived for each other and now he has gone I feel so lost. I don’t think anything can prepare us for life without our husband but somehow we just muddle through the days and nights and time passes by as life goes on around us.
Jen x


I agree @Jen64
I certainly didn’t appreciate how hard it was for people who lost their husband or wife until going through it. It will certainly change, hopefully for the better, how I react to others in this position.