I’m so sorry for the loss of your best friend, @LisaJennyfer. You are not alone. You might want to connect with @Iamlost2 who sadly lost their best friend to suicide too. They shared their story on this thread:
I can see that you’re in Estonia. If you want to talk to someone, you can find some local helplines for grief and loss here:
The community is here for you too. Keep reaching out,