Hi I lost my mum on the 25th of this month. She had a massive stroke and the left side of her brain was dead. I lost my dad 4years ago he was my best friend and I still struggle every day with his death. My sister I love her but she has just taken over everything she booked funeral before mum had passed she’s chosen what she will be cremated in what songs she is having what flowers she’s having at no point has she even asked or discussed it with me. I feel very alone I have a husband but he has been horrible to me he got drunk last Friday when I said he should be spending time with me and supporting me because my mum was dieing he said to me f–k you I’m supporting you as much as you would me if my parents died. I don’t really get on with them his mum’s a alcoholic and has been nothing but nasty to me and his sister slagged me off on our wedding day and his dad’s a nightmare but I would still be by my husband side regardless. He sometimes works away an on Tuesday morning he went to London when he knew mum was dieing she died that night I didn’t tell him she had died until last night when he came home and even then he turned it on me and made out it was my fault when I said he shouldn’t of left me when he knew she was dieing so instead of comforting me he caused a row. I’m really heart broken and feel very pushed out and alone.x
Hi @Girl50, I’m so sorry to hear of your mum’s death. Your loss is so recent and raw and it sounds like this has been very sudden and shocking for you.
Unfortunately, it’s quite common for there to be some friction in families after a death, and it’s something many of our members have experienced, too. I wanted to share this blog with you on family conflict after someone dies. It may help you to feel less alone.
I’m sorry that you’re not getting the support that you need and deserve right now. It sounds like this has been a stressful time for you and your family, but that doesn’t mean that it’s okay for someone to be horrible to you. Please, do put your emotional health and safety first and think about reaching out for further support if you need it.
You may also find these Sue Ryder resources helpful right now:
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
Please keep reaching out - you are not alone.