Losing both parents

I lost my amazing Dad in October following a sudden illness. I also lost my Dog just before that and he was a huge part of my life too. My mum is currently in hospital after an emergency admission 2 weeks ago. They don’t know what’s wrong with her but I’m sure it’s a mental breakdown following the traumatic passing of my dad, they were together for 50+ years. The whole situation regards covid is making everything 10 times worse as we can’t see mum and trying to get information across via phone is hard and she’s in a confused state. My dad was the same when admitted but had dementia type symptoms due to a brain tumour we couldn’t get help and he ended up being admitted via A&E and I never saw him again. They were a very young healthy 69 & 70 ye old this time last year?..I feel like I’m reliving the nightmare with mum now. I just wanted to write this down as it feels like it may help?. Thanks x

1 Like

@ArtySally, am extremely sorry for what your going through. I do have the same fear with my parents when they get sick. But your sutivation and what you must be going through is unimaginable. I pray you get the strength to go through this. Hope you stay strong. :white_heart:

1 Like

I do understand what you’re going through. I also lost my dad 3 weeks ago in hospital and we weren’t able to visit due to Covid so he died alone. I’m now supporting my mum who is missing him very much. They were married for 63 years and never apart until now. It’s sp hard as I feel that I haven’t started to grieve myself due to spending all my time sorting his affairs and helping my mum.
Thinking of you at this difficult time.

1 Like

Dear @4076jac and @4076jac

Thinking of you both at this sad and difficult time in your lives.
When our parents have been together for such a long time, it is so hard to see them go through the pain of losing their partner, or as some would say, their other half.

When my mum lost my dad, she did not know how to live without him. She had met him when she was only 16 and had never been on her own before.

We nearly lost her as well the night my dad died, as it looked like she had stroke, but when the ambulance came she refused to go into hospital. The next day her GP diagnosed her with a severe reaction to a urine infection, and shock. We had no time to grieve for our dad, as we needed to look after her. She did recover, but in the year that followed she really struggled.

I understand what you are going through and wish you all the inner strength you need to look after your mothers as well as cope with your own grief.


1 Like

Update: my mum has now been in hospital for 9 weeks :confused: the likely diagnosis is Lewy body Dementia. She’s pretty unresponsive doesn’t know where she is & doesn’t ask about us at all. She’s on a feed tube and hasn’t eaten anything substantial for at least 6 weeks. Spoke to a doctor today and this is not an illness triggered by the stress & trauma of my dad passing. It’s just a horrible weird coincidence this has come only 4 months after he died :cry: I’m kind of past being upset now just bewildered and tired :zzz: xxxx

Dear ArtySally,

Sorry to hear that your mum is till in hospital and that things have gone worse instead of better. It must be very distressing for you to hear that she is not responsive and is not asking about you. Have you been able to visit her at all, or speak to her through a nurse?

Has the doctor given you any idea of what will happen next? Are they planning to move her into a care home or could she possible be looked after in a hospice?

It must be so upsetting for you to face the prospect of losing your mum after you have already lost your dad. I just wanted to let you know that I have read your update and am thinking of you.


Hi, thanks so much :blush:

No not allowed a visit sadly. We did a video call a few weeks ago but it was very difficult and upsetting. I actually feel like I lost her all those weeks ago when she left in the ambulance.

No plan going forward from the doctors . They’ve not definitely diagnosed it as Lewy body dementia as they can’t do a scan in her condition. But they’ve ruled out everything else.

She still needs to be in hospital due to not eating and having a feed tube along with other issues being treated so I’ve no idea really?. But obviously the fact she hasn’t eaten anything substantial for many weeks means we only have one outcome sooner rather than later. The doctors are not committing at the moment.

Thanks for listening :blush: I feel a bit better having written it down .

Sally x