3 weeks ago my Dad was killed in a horrible car accident…he was only 60 years old, just about to retire next year after working very hard for his whole life. We lived in different countries so only saw each other once or twice a year but did chat every month as much as our busy life allowed. Was really looking forward to spending more time with him…now I can’t accept the fact that I won’t ever see him again…mostly I function fine, go to work, do the housework etc. I have a few sobbing, crying outbursts every day, but I feel guilty for not crying more. I am getting more and more tired and sad though, maybe it’s a slow progress, maybe my brain just haven’t actually processed what the hell just happened.
All my family lives in different countries and one of my worst fear was and still is to one day getting a call that they’re no longer alive, and that’s exactly what happened with my Dad…I don’t want to believe that he’s gone…why him, why now? 
Hello @Judit,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
It certainly does take your confidence away and fearful of what will happen next.
Baby steps along the way abd it’s exactly how I felt
Thank you!
I think it’s just started to get worse…definitely gonna be a long ride.