Losing Dad

Losing a parent
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Hi don’t know where to start with how im feeling, i lost my father just over two months ago and went into robot mode sorting out the funeral and dealing with alot of his estate (mum passed 4 years ago) suddenly around easter which was a special time for my parents i hit a brick wall, started feeling really anxious and was really down about the fact id now lost dad. I am a father myself to a 2 year old who keeps us busy but i have found it difficult to move passed the grief i am now feeling, and feel guilt for how i am feeling - not being present with her. I cant get over the fact not only have i lost dad but my child has also lost her grandfather (she doesn’t understand) but the weight of him not being there in the future for us is unbearable at times.

The other big thing id say is i have this enormous feeling of loneliness even surrounded by friends and immediate family. A sense of loneliness i just cant seem to shake, i am in my mid 30’s and none of my friends have experienced the death of a parent and for me to lose both of them i feel like i cant talk to anyone in my friendship group properly

I had 2 weeks off work when he died and have now taken a further 2 weeks off, i just feel like im letting everyone down and feel like a failure at work by taking this time out but i just cant cope with it

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Go easy on yourself. I’m 3 months down the line since losing my Dad and it’s still incredibly raw. I run a business with my husband so time off hasn’t been an option but I’m lucky in that our staff have been great and are very used to me sitting in tears or having a quiet moment outside. We all process grief in our own way… and I’d say the anxiety and loneliness appears to be really normal to be feeling. You’re nothing like a failure, you’re going through something that it possibly one of the hardest things in life that you can.
My Dad had cancer, was very unwell very quickly and I think through the 6 months of intense looking after him, I’d never once thought of what life would be the other side of losing him. And I’ve realised that only others who have lost a parent can even come close to understanding what you’re feeling.

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