Losing dad

My dad has cancer Gen has had it for 3 years now and has managed to keep going strong accept whenever he hasn’t a scan ( every 3 months) the cancer has grown anyway he explains had a scan last month a and it hasn’t already to husband other kidney now (he only has one kidney because the other had to be taken out Due to cancer) the doctors are taking him of chemo now they said their is nothing Moreno they can do for him I know he will go down hill very quickly a second he has a very aggressive cancer I’m struggling To deal with the fact he is going I’m only 20 and a two the moment me and my mum and dad are arguing a lot because i want to talk about his illness but they don’t i don’t want his last few months to be remebered by us arguing I feel so numb and can’t believe it’s actually happening I suppose untill he is dead I won’t believe it i feel so sad yet so numb

Hi Gracie,

Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I’m so sorry to hear that there’s nothing more that can be done for your dad - you are very young to be facing this.

We have another user called Saffy who is in a similar situation with her mum - if you would find it helpful to talk to her, you can read and reply to her post here: https://support.sueryder.org/community/end-life/breaking-mum-end-stages

I’m sorry to hear that you and your parents have been arguing - this is such a difficult and emotional time that it is understandable that it can cause tensions. You’re right that talking about the situation can really help, and I’m sorry that your parents don’t want to, but it isn’t possible to make them talk about it if they don’t feel able to.

I’m glad that you’ve found this site, as this can be a really good outlet for things you don’t have anyone else to talk to about. Is your dad getting any care through a hospice or Marie Curie or Macmillan nurses? These can be a really good support for you as well as for your dad - hospices usually have a family support service where you can go and get things off your chest, and maybe get advice on talking to your parents about the situation.