It’s 7 months since my beloved dad passed away, I feel worse now than when it happened. I have no enthusiasm for anything or to see anyone. I go to work, only because I have to, once I am home, I shut the world out. At times I don’t even want to see my grandchildren as I just haven’t got the energy or patience. My anxiety is through the roof, I cry daily as I miss dad so much. No one knows how I am feeling as I put a mask on when ever I see my son, daughter and brother. My friends ask me to go out but I always end up cancelling as I just don’t want to make small talk. I just want it all to end, I really don’t want to be here anymore.
5 Likes
Hi @Kay55, I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling at the moment.
I lost my Dad 6 months ago and I too feel worse now than I did. He was my world and I cry nearly every day, so I can relate to your words.
I am currently in the middle of having some counselling sessions which are helping. My counsellor suggested that I start to write a journal last thing at night and write down my feelings and thoughts. I have to say I’m surprised how much it is helping me. It allows me to wake up in the morning feeling better as I’ve left my feelings from yesterday exactly there, in yesterday.
If you find it hard to share your feelings as you are masking maybe a journal may give you the freedom to be open with yourself on paper, knowing that it’s private.
I hope you can find something that works for you.
Thank you for your reply. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one. I do write a journal and it does help. I like the thought that you leave your feelings from yesterday, in yesterday. I’m on the list for counselling at my doctor surgery, but still haven’t heard from them.
1 Like
Wanted to say that I can relate to almost everything you write (I don’t have children). I’ve sort of accepted that my dad isn’t here, but I can’t, even after 9+ months, accept that - I - have to be here without him. I know how much of a struggle it is to get through every day when that feeling is first and foremost in your mind. So few understand, even counsellors, how deeply we hurt. I have no magic solution, I wish I did, but it’s not only you, you’re not alone. 
3 Likes
I am thinking about my sons losing their dad.
And how they are missing him.
Like their rock has left and then having me left and I am struggling too.
I think of my dad sometimes after 30 years. How he struggled mainly.
I didn’t understand then.
I think of my husband as their dad so refer to him as that.
1 Like
So sorry for your loss. Thank you for replying. It is so hard putting on a face every single day As you say, we hurt so deeply.
1 Like
Feel like I wrote this myself. Keep busy.remember the good times and he wouldn’t want you to be upset. Sending hugs your not alone. I lost my dad last year I feel exactly the same x
3 Likes