When i was younger about 6 i had the loss of my uncle he lost his battle with mental health after that at 7 i had the loss of my grandad he had various illness this was alot to process for such a young mind like me and i still have not procesed all that happened then when 2020 hit i lost my other uncle suddenly and the doctors did not know why and the 2021 i lost my grandad to cancer and then 2022 i lost my scottish aunt to old age my family seems to have no luck and makes me worry about my own health and what could possibly happene to me it feels like im going down my uncles path… he was my best friend the cloest person i had it feels like im in a never ended loop of death its heart breaking i dont know how to cope with myself i have tried and tried to overcome all of this i avoid certain places and events i csnt go anywhere near areas that involves them and it doesnt help that i saw my uncle dead it horrible iv had counceling therapy and im lucky and gratefull i did as i would not have a chance to still be standing on this earth today i always want to end it and i hurt myelf alot i speak to people whoe always say your not alone but yes yes i am alone thats all i can hear myself say im struggling i reslly am its horrible having to relive those moments and hurt myself for what happened i go through cycles of not eating not wanting to speak up hirting myself depression anxiety i dont want to live this life.
I’m so sorry for all the losses you have endured. That is such a lot to go through with and you sound like a very strong, determined person who is trying their best to cope with a lot of pain.
It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts when they are grieving. We have a video about it here which you might find helpful:
There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.
- If these thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.
- Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
- Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text REMEDY to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
- You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline .
Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.
I’m worried to hear that you have been harming yourself. Are you getting any mental health support? Please do consider making an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
You deserve care and support so please, @Nova34, get in touch with one of these services.
Hi @Nova34 I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through and I just wanted you know that you’re being heard. This is all so hard to navigate but here you’ll find we’re all lost together x