Losing grip of reality

On February 1st I got a call from my dad’s phone only it wasn’t him. It was a nurse in the SICU at a hospital in MA. My dad had been in a car accident. On February 10th I sat alone in the waiting room where a doctor told me he was dying. On February 12th my sister’s and my grandmother and I took my dad off life support and said goodbye. My dad’s body had given up but I knew in some form he was still in there. A single tear rolled down the side of his face while we told him how much we loved him and since that moment everything has been a thick fog. None of this seems real. My dad was my best friend. I’m writing this as I lay in his bed with his ashes diagonal from me on his dresser. I keep telling myself that this happened and that this is reality now but I’m having a hard time accepting it. I’m the youngest of three and seeing how my older sisters are grieving makes me wonder how I’m grieving? My dad always showed me how to fix things. How to help others. How to be the best version of myself. So that’s what I’ve been doing? I’ve been going to Home Depot multiple times a day. Building shelves and cleaning and fixing small stuff and helping other people in my life with tasks. Does anyone else do that? This is the worst thing that could happen in my life and I find it difficult to talk about with people in my life because they’re grieving too. I had a different relationship with my dad than my sisters did. I feel like it’s making it so much harder. Help please


Hi @Sadchef94
Wow, this sounds very traumatic. You’re loss is so recent, I’ve no doubt it’s a big shock, which will take time to sink in. Grief is a strange thing to go through at times, but you can’t force it, & it’s not a one size fits all, everyone goes through grief in their own way, all I can say is take it one day at a time, I have always found talking on this forum helpful, there are always people who understand. Loosing a parent is heartbreaking, they were there for so much of our lives, & support us through so much, we can’t imagine life without them. My mom passed 3 years this April, she was my safety net, & I miss her very much.
The fixing things thing sounds like a positive thing, the fact these are things you learned from your dad, it’s sort of like a way to remember him by passing those traits on. Sending hugs of support.


So sorry for your loss. Thank you for your kind words