Losing him again

Hello. This is my first message. I lost my husband over a year ago after nearly 40 years of marriage. I have good days when the sun is shining and I feel hopeful that the heavy weight I carry will ease and awful days when I am so lonely and afraid. Recently I lost a piece of jewellery that my husband gave me before we married. I wore it all the time and in some ways meant more to me than my wedding ring. I am devastated. I am so angry with myself that I lost it and its as if I have lost him all over again; it’s another piece of our shared history gone. I keep telling myself it’s only a material ‘thing’ and we were more than that but it isn’t helping.


I totally understand how you feel about losing that piece of jewellery. You never know, it may turn up again when you least expect it to. It will be somewhere you haven’t thought of looking.
It is just a material “thing” like you say, but on days when we feel low, these little things mount up like they never did before when our husbands were here.
I’m like you, we were together for 40 years, married for 38. Lost my darling February 2021. Also like you I have some goods days and some where I feel his loss so acutely it’s a physical pain.
We can only hope our good days will eventually outweigh the bad and we can remember them with a smile and the love in our hearts for them which will never dim.
Take care, let us know if your jewellery turns up…even if it’s months down the line!
Janey xx


Hi Janey. Thank you for your reply, it is lovely that you have taken the time to support me. I understand what you you mean about a physical pain. I feel I am about to explode with all the emotions that churn around inside me. I have other friends who have previously lost their husband and I am now so embarrassed that I didn’t have any idea about what they are going through. It is so intense and a mad rollercoaster that I want to get off.