I have been told by many people that addiction is a choice only themself can stop, nothing we can do, we as a mother stay strong for children xx
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@Faye761201 my sons fiancé showed me a video of a lady who lost her husband to alcohol and it talked about how the mothers reaction paves the way for the future behaviours of the children and how important it is to set these standards in our children. Really struck a chord. I understand that only he could of chosen to save himself but I just wish we could have been enough to save him somehow. So very hard to deal with all these emotions on top of the grief. But yes we are mothers first and always and have to remember that we need to show that strength even if we feel like crumbling inside. Sending you some compassion and strength and I’m always near my phone if you want to message me or post on this thread
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Thank you for message and strength, wondering if any group chat we can join to comfort each other? Xx
My partner Blaise was just 14 when he started drinking, he was struggling with his sexuality and then his father became very ill, which was later diagnosed as Huntington’s Disease. By the time Blaise was 19 his body was already in serious decline from the years of alcohol abuse, he had suffered permanent heart and liver damage by his early twenties.
They say alcoholics choose to drink, but he tried so hard to fight it. Some people are just unable to cope when things are out of control, like all of us here, we are looking for our way to cope. He had so much sadness in his life, he had to watch the disease destroy his father, also knowing that he might end up the same way.
When his father died at the end of 2019, he had a brief relapse, but then he got sober and went all through lockdown without a single drink. Over the last few years he would slip up, but he would clean himself up because he wanted to beat it. It was only in the last few months of his life he lost the will to fight it, he had started to develop the early symptoms of Huntington’s Disease and it broke him.
It was not technically the alcohol that killed him, he chose to end his life, but it would have in the end, that’s if the Huntington’s didn’t kill him first. So I don’t agree that it was his decision to drink, just like it’s not our decision to be struggling with grief. It is human nature to need something to help us cope with life’s problems, for him it was alcohol.
Blaise was 35 when he died, he was gentle, kind and would give everything he could for others. I loved him so much and I always will, he was not perfect because he was human, and he was as damaged as the rest of us.
Xx
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