I’m new here - I lost my husband yesterday. I feel so lost and so scared about the future. He was only 47 and had cancer for the last year - treatment was stopped a few weeks ago as it wasn’t stopping the metastatic tumour growth in his liver. We have 2 boys aged 10 and 13 who are coping remarkably well so far. I wish we had talked more towards the end and I really regret this. His decline was so quick that he couldn’t really talk or understand a lot and communicating was hard. I still talked to him and hope he could hear what I was saying. I just wish I could go back in time and tell him all the things I keep thinking of now he’s not here any more. I know this is pointless as you can’t change the past but it’s making me feel so upset on top of everything else. I’ve got to be strong for the boys but I’m terrified and don’t know what to do.
Thats so brave of you coming on here having lost your husband yesterday. At first it doesn’t seem real and you expect them to walk in door . I lost my husband 14 months ago and I still have very dark days the pain never goes away but we do learn to adapt. The first few weeks are so busy what with phone calls, sorting paper work and arranging funeral your head will be all over the place. Everyone on this forum are so supportive and will always be here if you need to scream cry or just someone to talk to . Hope you and your boys find some comfort and take care of yourself x
It’s early days. Take your time and forgive yourself, you know he would forgive you. He knew everything that you wanted to say. Well done on being strong for the boys. Message me anytime, I am always here to listen. xxx
Hello Vi21
Really feel for you, so young to go through such a huge loss especially with a young family.
Try to take it a day at a time, your so raw at the moment, and you will grow stronger given time, these desperate feelings will ease, this is about the worst it can get, continue with little steps sometimes it feels like 6 forward and 8 backwards but keep going and sharing your feelings and fears will help you a lot, Deep Breath and Take care x
Hi vi, this so sad, just yesterday, I lost my husband 10 weeks ago tomorrow Tuesday, 
I cried a lot this past weekend, Sunday was the worst, although I cleaned and dusted the livingroom the tears still came, I was in bed by 8.30pm and actually crying out loud, My Children are great and look after me, making me dinner etc…or anything I need done that I can’t do! But nothing replaces my husband 
I’ve been prescribed sleeping tablets, but now the doctor says no more till I have a consultation, when I say ‘my children’ they are 51 …50 …& 38 
and my lovely grandchildren, nothing will ever be the same, when I lock the door at night I’m all alone, I’m always here for a chat with anyone who wants a chat 
xx
Dear Vi29
Oh my word this is so new and raw for you. I am sending you a huge hug. You are not alone. I too lost my husband aged 47 by suicide. My daughter was 10 years old. Have to be honest here and say the first couple of years are difficult but the fact that you have young children who need you is your key to focussing on the future. I threw myself into bringing up my daughter and being there for here every need. She had a lot of difficulties in High School due to anxiety. What I want to say to you is that you will get through this. Us humans are very resilient and I know you felt you could have talked more but the fact that you were talking to him when he was ill. Believe me, he heard every word you said. Also it is all out of your control. You just need to focus on yourself and your children and you will be guided day by day.