Losing husband

Husband passed away 2 weeks ago , been married to him 26 years , A few weeks before he was admitted with terminal illness , we’d had an argument and he threw the phone in his hand and said ‘ I need to die only then you’ll be peaceful.’. 2 weeks later he was admitted for mild symptoms and the diagnosis was terminal, I feel so guilty that I’d said something so annoying for him to say ‘ I need to die and only then you’d be peaceful’ , Did this tempt fate , Did I lure him to his end , I could have kept him happy , I could have avoided meaningless arguments… I feel very very guilty

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I am so sorry for your loss. You will find reading posts on this site that guilt is normal with grief. I am sure you didn’t hasten his death. We have all done and said things we regret. Go easy in yourself. Certainly at this early stage. Welcome to this club none of us wanted to join. Xx. Sandra

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I agree, this is a common theme that we regret, wish etc. You did not make him ill with words. Be kind to yourself. 2 weeks is a very raw, painful , questioning time. You’ll be trying to find answers for everything that’s happened and it may be that there are not always answers.

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It’s such early days for you. Guilt is a part of the grieving process. Just because you argued didn’t mean you didn’t love each. You didn’t know why was around the corner. Over time you will remember the good times you had with your husband. Just take things one day at a time.

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