Losing mom week before Christmas

[ANW]

I lost my mom 18th December 2025 and we had built a solid mother and daughter relationship through her illness, after a whole childhood of neglect through her being an alcoholic. She nearly died 5 years back and has since had poor, declining health.

I decided to build on our fractured mother daughter relationship and I we had some wonderful times and she turned her life around in the last couple of years, battling many on - going illnesses and being a better mom and devoted grandparent. She was grateful and proud, so proud!

I lost dad when I was 18 years old. Mom was only 76 and I’m only 36. I feel almost tortured, that they were stripped away from me, with no justified cause - Mom has very much repented her ‘demons’ as she called them.

I was numb over the last few weeks, especially having to get through Christmas as a mom myself and try to make my little boys Christmas magical!

Now feels so horrendous. The actions of clearing her house, finalising utility bills and with her upcoming direct cremation, I feel fear, emptiness, profound loss & like I’ve lost the only true person, I could be completely myself with, without judgement! We’d formed, such a sense of understanding , for the past, present and future for our mother and daughter relationship- We had so much more to enjoy.

I feel surrounded by people, yet so lonely, as their life goes on.

[Seaneen]

Hello @ANW,

Thank you for so bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about mom. She sounds like an amazing woman to turn her life around like that.

You are not alone. You might want to connect with @ALH. They posted this thread yesterday:

Lost my Dad (51) to Alcohol - Daughter (31) only child.

Hi, I lost my Dad 8th December 2025 suddenly to Liver + Heart disease, he was only 51 years young and I’m only 31, I’m also his only child, I was a daddy’s girl. Its more traumatic because of how i found him, i had five days bereavement leave with work but thinking i may need to get a sick note as ‘normality’ is overwhelming me as though i have too much to do, i try to take time on the evenings after work/weekends but you blink and its bedtime/monday. With him passing before christmas, there …

where they shared their experiences of losing their dad just before Christmas. You may understand some of what each other are going through.

You might find these Sue Ryder resources helpful, too.

• Our Losing a parent page talks through some of the emotions you may be experiencing

• Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief

• Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through

I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Keep reaching out,

Seaneen