I am finding it extremely hard at the moment, losing multiple people without time to recover. My uncle passed away last year from covid, then my mum passed away in January after a very short battle with cancer (found out a week before it was terminal) then lost another uncle in march/April after a long battle with alzimers. Then on Friday lost my dad, he had chest pains on Thursday, they done tests and found out he had a damaged heart valve ( probably from an operation to amputate his leg last year) he was looking good and in good spirits, his usual self. Then on Friday he was getting out of hospital on the phone to my brother who was coming to pick him up, the phone went quiet and that was him gone. How do you cope with so many blows
Hi @Scotty4040,
The short answer is that I’m not sure. You’ve done a good thing by posting here - you’ll find people in a similar position who’ll try to help you.
Grief hits all of us in different ways, and sometimes, as you have found, death follows death and you feel alone in the world. My husband/soul-mate died last year, and I feel as if I have been cut in half.
Losing your mother and father in a short time must be so hard. And yes, you have had too many blows.
I don’t think there is any such thing as ‘coping’. I have stumbled through as best I can. I am 66, and when you reach that age, you begin to find that people you’ve known all your life have died. Each and every death is different. I lost a distant relative a few years ago, I felt sad for her, because she had been a force to be reckoned with, but I also felt relief, because she’d no longer come knocking at my door and barging in.
I’m Scottish too, and living in England I miss the village I lived in because I feel isolated here.
The only thing I can say might not help. I think you are doing the right thing by looking for answers, instead of staying alone with your pain. You have lost too many family members in a very short time.
Please give yourself time to grieve. Then try to heal. It’s very hard, but not impossible. I feel for you now. I wish I could help you more.
Christie xxx
Thank you for your response, yes it is hard but I’m getting support from various charities
You do cope ,you have to !! That’s it black and white sorry
My husband died suddenly out of the blue he had a pulmonary aneurysm and fell down our stairs
Right from the start it was a nightmare
Ambulance came I’m pushing on his chest to keep him alive
They come in take over then one of them start complaining her arms are hurting from pushing on his chest
I’m sat there numb watching the person I love dying and there arguing who’s going to keep his heart going
Then he stays there on our floor for 9 hours waiting for the coroner to come and take him away
When they leave I have to wipe up all his body fluids that have come out of him
You couldn’t write it !!!
You then have tell everyone when all you want to do is curl up in a ball and die yourself
That makes you bloody stronger
6 months later my mum is rushed into hospital with pneumonia in intensive care for 2 weeks
She comes home celebrates her 70th birthday
Then 2 months later she walks out into an ambulance and by the time she got to the hospital her poor heart had stopped
When I look back over the last 2 years I just don’t know how I coped the two people that supported me in my life every day were gone
And I did cope I sorted all the financial issues for both my mum and david which wasn’t a walk in the park either as David and I were not married
I also had to support everyone with their loss too my dad sister david’s parents his children
It was hell but they needed me more
I do believe others out there have had it worse than me and I feel for you all
I joined this group so I could help others and maybe they could give me some answers on how to survive without our loved ones
Take care
Xx