Hello
Im really struggling with the loss of my mum. She passed away nearly a year ago on 7.11.23.
Ive not grieved . Im a person who puts everyone elses needs before my own. So ive neglected my own needs and now im getting flashbacks and reliving each moment leading up to her passing. I was present at her passing she was home in her own bed with my father next to her and she just went after a 3 year battle with COPD. I miss my mum so very much. I am an only child. My father moved on with a new companion in March so i no longer have contact with him. I feel i have no one now. My husband doesnt understand my children try to console me. Im lost, i try to forget by working really hard. 10 hrs shifts but im worn down im not sleeping my body hurts from the tension and stress. Crying everyday and at times inconsolable.
Hi @Lally ,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum. I lost my mum 1.5 years ago and miss her terribly too, would give anything just to hear her voice and get a hug from her. I’ve hit a bit of a wall too, suffering from bad anxiety since I come back from honeymoon in September. Like you i put everyone else first, making sure they are ok, and I think I’ve hit a bit of a wall, everyone seems fine for the moment bar me now. I’ve been to see the GP and been prescribed beta blockers which are helping lots with the physical symptoms of anxiety, giving me some rest bite. I honestly didn’t know grief caused anxiety and thought I was loosing my mind, but reading posts on here and posting too has eased me somewhat, as anxiety I’m now learning is normal in grief. 10 hours days is a lot, you really need to rest. Please speak to your GP they will be able to help, you deserve calm in your life. Time to take care of you, I know it’s hard, but you matter just as much as everyone else. Sending hugs and happy to chat anytime xx
Thank you for your kindness @FeeBell . GP gave me an anti depressant. It didnt help gave me headaches and nausea. Im resting now have a few days off. But find work is a good distraction from my thoughts. I loved my mum so much and if she knew what losing her is still doing to me she would be so concerned about me. It will get better again. Its the flashbacks that are affecting me most PTSD i guess. I have to get through this for my family.
Yes, work helps me too and I’m so fortunate I have great mangers who understand and support me.
You will get through this, I believe I will too, all in good time. No timeline in grief, we shall take each minute, hour and day at a time. Rest when you need too, cry when you need too and reach out when you need too. Xx
@Lally im so sorry for the loss of your mum. My mum died 7 months ago and i have found recently things have become very raw again. I had counselling at the start as for me i was so anxious alas it was unexpected and sudden. The counselling really helped and it made me realise that anxiety is a part of grief. Since then i have been busy dealing with her estate etc and working like you. I noticed recently that ive been struggling again, dreaming that she is still alive which is so upsetting when you wake again. So ive gone back to counselling, im thinking now is my time to process and grieve. If you can access counselling then please try it, it gives you some time just for you where hopefully you can process your feeling
Hi. Just related to your post. Feel so similar. Lost my Nan recently who was also my mum as had raised me. It’s an absolutely awful feeling grief and like you, I know Nan would be worried about me feeling like this. Although how do we stop it?! I’m trying to stay strong for family too although inside constantly thinking about Nan and her final moments which gives me flashbacks often. I went back to work last week after two months off and it was so good being back to work with supportive people although missed the texts from my nan asking how it was going. It’s those little things like that literally take you off your feet. Thoughts with you.