Hi everyone. I lost mum 4 months ago very suddenly and unexpected. I found her and tried to resuscitate. Horrendous, just horrendous. We were best of friends, I saw her everyday and I’m lost, it’s so hard. I thought barrelling through life and socialising and keeping busy would help but it doesn’t. Today is a bad day, something has triggered me to stop and take some time out. I do feel my friends (who have been amazing) have run out of things to say and I understand that and I understand we need to move on but…
Has anyone found counselling helpful? Best wishes to all of you who are suffering too.
Hello I lost my mum 4 weeks ago yesterday. I’m having a really bad day today too.
It’s so hard. Sometimes I feel not too bad and other times it just hurts so much.
I find listening to music she liked and liking at photos to remember the good times helps.
Counselling can be helpful as you can say whatever you feel to the person without being judged x[quote=“Wren25, post:1, topic:92601, full:true”]
Hi everyone. I lost mum 4 months ago very suddenly and unexpected. I found her and tried to resuscitate. Horrendous, just horrendous. We were best of friends, I saw her everyday and I’m lost, it’s so hard. I thought barrelling through life and socialising and keeping busy would help but it doesn’t. Today is a bad day, something has triggered me to stop and take some time out. I do feel my friends (who have been amazing) have run out of things to say and I understand that and I understand we need to move on but…
Has anyone found counselling helpful? Best wishes to all of you who are suffering too.
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My sympathies for your loss. It’s so difficult, I know. You shouldn’t feel pressure to move on even if society expects it. It only adds to the guilt and I don’t believe we do move on, we rarher move forward, trying to live with it.
Counselling doesn’t work for everyone, but I think it’s worth a try. It depends a lot on the counsellor and if you feel comfortable with him/her. Since you lost her under such awful circumstances I do think it would be particularly helpful to have support. Trauma counselling was what helped me the most, but having someone to share all the thoughts and fears that come up did make a difference too. Sending hugs.
I’m sorry to read this. I unexpectedly lost my dad 10 months ago, and it shattered my world.
Maybe it would help if you told your friends that they don’t need to say anything, but just listen. My best friend and I have an endless WhatsApp conversation, and have done for years. When I messaged her to say that everything I could say about losing my dad, I’ve said before, she told me to say it anyway and that she’ll always listen. That has been so reassuring.
I found counselling helpful, but less so the rigidity of it. I can message my friend (and/or come on here) and share my thoughts at any time of night or day, but the counsellor was only available for one hour once a week at a specific time slot for a maximum of six sessions.
TLDR; counselling can be helpful, but alongside talking to friends and loved ones, and posting on here.
Hi @Wren25
Im so sorry for your loss. I too lost my mum suddenly and unexpectedly, she was fit and well and only 75. I found her dead at home alone, it was too late to resusitate her, im a paramedic so its was really hard not being able to help her. The shock is the hardest thing, i have struggled to understand it all. Not only are we dealing with the death of our mothers but we are also dealing with a massive shock. I have had counselling and i do believe it is helping me. But also this group is amazing as you realise other people are going through the same situations and it helps me to know i am not alone
Yes lost my mum nov last year she died suddenly aged 74 its been so hard some days i feel really down another day im ok but feel guilty about not being sad .me and my mum were close and i miss her every day i do have siblings but not close to them it seems a lonley place without my mum
Morning everyone. Thank you so much for your comments, it’s good to feel amongst friends. I tried a session of counselling last Friday but unfortunately I wasn’t comfortable with her. Today I going to another place and hoping all is good. I’m ready for a good thrash out so fingers crossed.
@Wren25
Hi, I can identify with you completely. I lost my Mum 4 months ago too, suddenly and unexpectedly and we were best of friends. We also found Mum and tried to resuscitate and I’m really struggling with life without her. We were so close and she was a huge part of our everyday lives. At times I’ve thought I felt a teeny weeny bit stronger inside but the past couple of weeks I seem worse again. I cry within a second of a thought and it doesn’t matter where I am. I always cry when I’m posting on here. Had a week off work recently supposedly to chill a bit but actually found myself crying more. I just feel complete sadness inside, nothing feels enjoyable anymore.
To answer your question I have had some counselling and I did find it helpful, I had half a dozen sessions but actually feel like I need more. As I can see from a later post of yours you are trying someone else, it is important to feel comfortable with the person you choose. Take care.
Best wishes to you. The counselling today was great. Unpacking a lot of things. Exhausting but I’ll go again and again until it’s all unpacked. Take care of yourself.
You shouldn’t feel pressure to move on even if society expects it. It only adds to the guilt and I don’t believe we do move on, we rarher move forward, trying to live with it.
