Hi, just wondering if there’s anyone out there who’s gone through similar. My mum died of secondary breast cancer two weeks before I gave birth to my daughter, who is 4 months old now. We thought we might have longer with her but wasn’t to be. The first few months were very hard but somehow managed to push through, don’t know how, I suppose having a little one takes up so much of your time so you don’t really have time to stop and think too much. Feel gutted she never got to meet my little girl, she put so much love and effort into my own upbringing as a single mum and just angry that she never got to experience being a grandparent. I feel empty, like a key link is missing. Would love to pick up the phone and tell her about my little girl and ask for advice, but I can’t. Should’ve asked more questions about how I was as a kid, how she approached feeding, sleep… all that stuff, but just couldnt face it when I was pregnant and she was coming towards the end, just didnt want to accept that she might not make it to see her grandaughter. She never got the chance to meet her and my daughter will never know her. Just can’t get my head around that. Not sure what I’m looking for from this post but just wondering of others have experienced this too. Would be good to hear how others are approaching it.
Hello @Cara_mia24,
I’m part of the Online Community team, and I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum and that she never got the chance to meet your little girl. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
You may also find our article on Coping with the Death of a Parent helpful. It offers information and advice specifically for those navigating the loss of a parent.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Ben
Hi,
My situation isn’t exactly the same but my brother and his wife were 6 months pregnant when my dad died extremely suddenly. My dad lived for his children and he was beyond excited for his grandchild to be born. He had already booked a holiday to Disney World to take the baby when she was 9 months old. He had showered her with gifts and basically planned his future life around helping care for her. Although she is my niece rather than daughter, I think constantly about my dad missing out on seeing her and being in her life. I grieve for what he is missing and then for my brother and his wife who were so excited for him to be part of their team as they raised their first child.
I am so sorry that you are also going through such a heartbreaking time. I hope your little one is bringing light to a dark time and I’m sure your mums memory will be kept alive through you and by telling your baby about how amazing she was.
@Hana sorry its taken me a while reply, I really appreciate you taking the time to post, thank you. Im so sorry about your dad - he sounds like he would’ve been an amazing grandad, and he would’ve just loved every minute. He sounded so devoted to his family. It’s hard thinking about what my mum/your dad have missed out on, and that my daughter and your niece won’t know them…that’s the hardest for me. But, you’re so right, I’ve got to talk to her about her granny, tell her she was like and show her photos. Just keep her memory alive. My stepdad has a friend of his who makes teddy bears out of clothing and has offered to make my little girl one out of my mum’s clothes. Was quite touched by that. I know there are places online that do it. Might be an idea for your niece xx