I’m only in my 20s I’ve lost my mum in October and I have been struggling to find ways to cope as most resources online are for people a lot older than me who have lost parents. I have not found much for those who are young and lost a parent young. I just need advice on how to cope with this. I’m terrified of losing everyone around me. I lost grandad 10 weeks after mum too. It’s a lot. Both sudden and unexpected
Hello @HanH,
Thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum and grandad. You are not alone. I’m not sure if you’ve seen our Losing a parent category. But there you will find lots other members sharing their experiences of living with grief after losing a parent.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support to you. In the meantime, you might find these Sue Ryder resources helpful to read.
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Our Losing a parent page talks through some of the emotions you may be experiencing
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Take good care and keep reaching out 
Alex
Hi @HanH I don’t have too much advice, I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone. I lost my beautiful wonderful mum and I was just 32 and felt far too young to lose her, when all my friends still have their parents or grandparents. It isn’t fair and there’s no reason why it happens, but I find it helps to still live life as though they are watching over you. Our mum’s would want us to carry on and live our lives and try and be happy, so that’s all we can do. Just take it one day at a time. Its been almost two years since I lost my mum and I have some ok days, days where I’m almost happy sometimes, and days where it still hurts so badly that she’s not here. But that’s when I speak to others, and it helps to know I’m not alone. You’re not alone either. Maybe try lighting a candle for your mum every day by a picture of her and tell her a few words. That’s what I do and it helps me feel a bit closer to her. Xx
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I’m sorry you’re going through this and at a young age. I went through something similar.
I lost my mum when I was at university. I coped by studying extra hard and went into teaching after that as I wanted to put my energy into something positive that she would have been proud of.
I also drank too much and used men as a bit of a coping mechanism to forget.
It’s hard when everyone else still has their mum and it’s mother’s day or you see mums and daughters out shopping or posts on social media. It gets less raw as time goes by - first three months are very difficult.
What helped for me was having close friends, spending time with my aunt on my mum’s side. I tried to help my Dad but he was depressed and upset for years afterwards.
I also went to spiritual fairs and whether you believe or not sometimes it’s comforting to think your mum is with you in spirit. I cook some of the dishes she used to make and talk about her to my children.
It’s tough at a young age because your mum really anchors you and it’s hard not to feel you have lost part of yourself without her. I have found people gave been very kind to me over the years and some older work colleagues and older women have guided me - my mother in law has been a good role model and a lady at work as well.
You are young and this will impact on you so be kind to yourself and live life to the full. So all the things she would want for you: go travelling, enjoy your career and friendships. Sending lots of love x
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I have just lost my mum at age 31 and feel I am too young – I am so so sorry that you are in your 20s and are going through this even younger than me. It’s not fair.
I hope that this horrible experience will make me a more compassionate and wiser person to other people when they are grieving. I too have developed a fear of losing everyone around me, just as you have said however, I am trying to reframe it as it giving me perspective on what is important in life. I am also finding comfort and support in my friendships with women who were a similar age to her – either other family members, friends’ parents, women at work.
Sending you love and strength.
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Hi, I lost my Dad at 22 and have just lost my Mum three weeks ago (I’m now 35). All the resources seem to be focused on losing a parent when you are a child or teenager, or losing them when you are older. There’s very little out there about the unique challenges of losing a parent in your 20s. None of my friends have lost a parent (still now, definitely not when Dad died) and although they try to be there for me they really don’t get it. It’s very lonely
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