Hi all
i lost my mum to cancer 8 weeks ago, after she had a six month battle with bowel cancer. Mum was offered palliative chemo in june 2024 but declined it, mum wouldn’t talk about the cancer or anything. Fast forward to december mum became delirious & in so much pain that she was taken to hospital and placed in palliative sedation where she passed 5days later.
Watching mum go through all this has been so difficult, and i think it will stay with me for the rest of my life.
Currently i am struggling with sleep as i wake up several times in the night, i have no motivation to do anything & things i used to do such as getting ready for work are taking me longer then before.
I wish i had mum back, i just have this empty hole in my heart, i hate feeling like this.
Does it get any better with time?
Due to me not sleeping i took prescribed sleeping pills from the doc last night & it made me feel terrible when i woke up, i didn’t make it to work nor hdo the school run so i feel even lousier now.
I just feel so deflated, so unmotivated just stuck in limbo 
People tell you it will get better but at this stage it’s not particularly helpful is it? I lost mum on 6th Jan due to a stroke following a fall. It was all very sudden and ive just been existing since. I totally understand everything youre going through.
The sense of being in limbo as you describe is horrible and i dont think ive experienced anything like it before. The grief is always there but it tends to hit me in waves and at those points i just want to curl up in a ball.
Like me, there are plenty of people on here who have experienced the same so youre not on your own
Take care of yourself
Hi, I too take sleeping tablets and anti anxiety pills since losing my mum 3 months ago. I don’t like taking the sleeping tablets as they make me feel groggy the next morning. However, I have found if I take one about 2-3 hours before usual bed time then it’s better.
Take care of yourself x