I lost my mum on Tuesday and I just feel heartbroken. All I have done is cry on the sofa for two days, barely sleeping and barely eating. My body genuinely hurts.
Mum went into the icu unwell with a potential bleed on her stomach but when they operated they found her kidneys and liver weren’t working. They originally gave us 48hrs but she pulled through. She woke up sometimes when we visited but had the tube in to help her breath. She was struggling but I thought she would make it out. After two weeks they needs to take the ventilation tube out and after that she rapidly declined. The doctors told us she was in a coma and nothing more they could do. We stay with her until the end and told her how much we loved her. I don’t think I will get over the image of watching her go.
I’m scared for the future and the pain is unbearable. I can’t seem to talk to anyone even when friends check in. I feel so alone in this. I just want to talk to my mum.
I just wish this was all a nightmare. She was 63 and I’m only 35. I have to go the rest of my life missing her.
2 Likes
Hello 1990.
I send you my condolences on the passing away of your beloved mum. You are bound to feel the way you do. Anger, disbelief and a complete feeling of being overwhelmed is exactly how I feel/felt.
Your grief is in its very early stages. You loved your mum and she loved you. She was always always there for you and gave unconditional love.
I truly empathise with your feelings and what you say. I like you, only want my mam. No one else. She passed away nearly 10 weeks ago. She was 82 years old. We had lived together for over 60 years. Now mam has gone and I am completely lost and alone. I miss her so much.
Those 10 weeks seem like 10 years since I saw my mam’s beautiful smiling face and spoke to her.
There isn’t an answer that will make things okay. I don’t know how I coped with very little support. I would give Marie Curie a ring. They are outstanding. Look up their site. You can speak freely to a volunteer about how you feel. They listen and you can talk for as long as is necessary. I have rang them about 10 times. Three times in the last week. My grief is really bad. I am crying every day for a big part of the day. I only have to think of a memory, however small and start crying.
Also, please keep posting your feelings on here. It does help a bit. If things get too overwhelming maybe ask your GP for advice.
I know none of these things will bring your beloved mum back, but it is just how I have tried to cope. God bless and sending you all my kindest regards and best wishes .Stephen.
Hi @1990
Thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum.
I’m sure others will be along to offer their support to you. In the meantime, you might find these Sue Ryder resources helpful.
You might want to check out the AtALoss website. It is a directory of bereavement support, including support groups. If you click this link, then select your region, andyou can see what bereavement support is available in your area.
Your council’s website should also have information on local bereavement support. If you search for “your council name + bereavement”, you can find your council’s bereavement support page.
I hope you find the community to be a support for you. Take good care and keep reaching out 
Naoise
So sorry for your lossI lost my mum suddenly on the 12 April 2026 unexpectedly she ended up in ice went into cardiac arrest she died in uganda so i couldnt b there untill the week before the funeral I’m 37 and feel so lost aswell plus I have a 4month old now just finding it hard to accept
Hello there, I’m so sorry to hear this. I found myself to be in shock for quite a long time after my mam’s death - I’m 31 and she just turned 70. Feeling shock is normal, as is fear and pain. It hurts so much because there is so much love to miss. There is no rush to be ready to talk to friends, there’ll be there when you are ready. And there no right or wrong timeline for grief - take all the time you need. It’s been 5 months for me and I still talk to my mam every day, and carry both the grief and also the love. This forum made me feel less alone - everyone’s story is different, but there is a community here who’ll listen and “get” it.
Take care and keep in touch.
Hello @1990 , I am so very sorry that you are going through this. I am 33 and lost my mum 6 months ago, she was 68. I understand what you wrote about feeling alone in your grief for her, it is so incredibly hard. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions, you are not only going through grief but also trauma, the physical and emotional shock is devastating. It is okay to feel you can’t talk to people who check in with you, communication needs to be on your terms and friends will understand that your needs take priority at this time. Some practical things that I find helpful sometimes are talking to mum, out loud when I’m alone or writing to her. I read mum’s old text messages when I feel I want to text her or read something she has written, I am also having bereavement counselling, this is incredibly helpful for the memories of her death and coping with these. You may be able to access bereavement counselling local to you and it’s worth asking a GP about this when you feel strong enough. In the early days all I could do was try to take care of my basic needs, even that was extremely challenging but I was proud of myself for every shower, every change of pyjamas and every time I fed myself. Putting one foot in front of the other without her is the hardest thing, but it is possible with the right support. I am sending you love and thoughts, hoping you can get some rest 