Losing mum

Hi everyone,
I have only just joined this group this evening.
My beautiful mum passed away on the 17th of February this year. The cause of death was put down as a nasty gallbladder infection. However, mum had lost so much weight in the few months before hand.
We live far apart, and my dad was shielding as he is extremely vulnerable, he has COPD. Recently diagnosed with Dimentia :frowning: I never got to see mum since February last year due to covid. I feel like we have been robbed of memories, like so many thousands of people.
I can’t believe I will never see her again, my mum. Dad is still at his house who he now shares with my brother. I think I have accepted mums gone, in a way. I keep waiting for signs for her to come to me. I always believed in something after death, but now I think that’s it. No more to be. How do we face a future with out our mums or dads?
I keep strong for my children, I know they need me, but I’m really struggling. We put on a brave face and a fake smile, but underneath we are so broken and screaming out.
I think I’m just wanting to chat with people who are going through the same as me. I don’t have anyone to talk to really.
Thank you for reading and taking the time out
All the best

Hi @Julie72 I really get where you are coming from. Not believing we will ever see those people again is just so painful, and since I lost my mum suddenly last month I keep asking myself how am I going to do this??? How do I learn to live with that loss of her in my days and in my life? I wish I had easy answers, but I don’t think there are any. We do it very slowly, some times it can feel like I am just about managing and then other times the grief and the loss just floors me. There is no pattern to it, and no right or wrong way. All I know is I miss my mum, all the time, and I understand what that broken and screaming feels like. I can’t believe she is gone forever…

I have found it helps to read the posts on this site, and to know there are so many of us struggling with this. I hope you find it supportive and helpful. So many of us are in this awful place of grief and loss together

Take care and sending hugs xx

Thank you so much for your reply, and I am so very sorry to hear about your mum. :heart:
Talking and reading about other people in the same situation as us, really does help. The only time someone truly understands the loss of a parent, is sadly when they have been through it or going through it themselves.
I guess we just take day by day and go with the flow. There are no rules to follow, we deal with the grief in our own way.
I do like the positive days, then bang, it hits you again.
I’m sure we will all learn to live with the loss, and take our beautiful memories in to the future.
Thank you again for you reply.
You too take care, and stay safe x

1 Like

Hi @Julie72 I thought I would just check in and see how you’re doing?

I’m still in a state of disbelief that my mum has died, I still think about calling her and wonder why I haven’t heard from her, until I remember…

Take care x

1 Like

I’m so sorry for your loss, @Julie72 . My mum died in November, after catching Covid. She shielded all last year and died from it anyway.

I’ve been feeling robbed of memories and time with her, and feeling guilty that her last year alive was so boring and unhappy. Looking back, I wish I had just gone to see her instead of obeying all the lockdown rules. I know I was trying to keep her safe but now she’s died anyway and all I can think is that I could have spent so much more time with her and she didn’t deserve to die that way.

I’m so sorry about your mum @Smeats.

I know what you mean about feeling robbed of memories, and time with your mum. Covid has had such a devastating impact on so many lives, and even though my mum didn’t die of it, restrictions meant that I hadn’t seen her for weeks and then she died before I could have done.

Guilt seems to be something so many of us feel at the moment - I hope that in time you will work through it and be able to find comfort in the memories of your mum. I am not there yet, but there are times when it eases a little for a while. Being on here helps - knowing people get what this feels like.

Take care and keep posting x