Im Struggling with the loss of my mum 2 years ago.overcome with pain and tears like it was yesterday.try really hard to keep busy and see friends even though my hearts not in it anymore ,i know its suppose to help.how do you carry on with this awful dark pain in your heart that never goes.i know she wouldnt want to see me like this & im trying but after losing dad at 14 suddenly, she was my everything,i loved her so much .my husband tries to understand but hes more tougher than me.grateful for any ideas/help ive hit rock bottom
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I lost my mum aged 90 in May. Devastated. I was with her 50 years.
I am trying to be kind to myself. You don’t want to get yourself down and ill with all the grief.
Things I am doing are:
- Trying to get up early and maintain a routine. Eat a healthy breakfast. Give yourself a little treat each day, something you’ve always enjoyed
- I’m reading a few grief books from the library. That helps.
- My mum is buried so I go to the cemetery every day. Water her fresh flowers and chat to her (and my dad who is buried next to her). It gives me comfort being there close to her (even if she’s not really there, if you know what I mean). I sit in the remembrance garden as well and say the Lord’s prayer (I’m not deeply religious) but I think prayer is really helping.
- I’m guessing you will have plenty of photos of your mum, so look through them and chat to her.
- Think what your mum would say to you now if she could see you. She would definitely want you to continue and be happy.
- I talk out loud around the house as if she’s here, just random stupid things, but it helps (I’m on my own).
- Look for signs of your mum. I’ve had a few feathers in the garden and I keep my eye out for the robin who sometimes visits.
Just all these little things a day at a time. I know it’s exceptionally difficult.
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Ty for your advice youareunbelievable, cemetry is far away but i go every 2 wks.will try in the coming month to look at some pictures of happy times .i sit at the top of the hill when i walk the dog at 10 in the morn and talk to her like i telephoned her this time every morn.but i think maybe stop for awhile as im in floods of tears there and maybe setting me off for a day of sadness
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