Hey, my name is Claire i’m 26 and lost my mum last week to cancer complications. We were best friends, codependent on one another and I was her carer. We spent every single day together unless she was hospitalised then we would text and facetime.
This loss came unexpectedly as neither my mum nor I were aware time was limited. Life feels so pointless and empty without her, there is something about having your mum around that makes you feel like you can face anything life throws at you as long as you have your mum. Now that that is gone I feel lost
How do you cope with the loss of a mum?
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Hi @claire11223 ,
Sorry to hear you are struggling with the sad loss of your mom, my mom passed away 2 years ago from brain tumors, & I know what you mean, to me my mom was like a safety net, when she passed, it felt like walking a tightrope very high up, without my safety net I was scared of falling, but 2 years on, I still miss mom, & when I’m going through troubled times, I wish she was here to give me a hug, but I know she’s with me in spirit, I have special needs, & mom used to look after me. Sending hugs of support
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So sorry to hear about your mum. I lost my mum last November after a short batte with cancer. I wont lie, this has been the worst/hardest year of my life. There are days when I cry constantly for missing her so much. Other days arent as bad, I’m now able to talk about her and not immediately tear up. But life is different, for me Mums are your home and your safe place, so I still feel displaced and not quite sure where I feel at home anymore. But I will say that I can’t believe a year has passed, I didn’t think I could live without my mum, but here I am a year later. I dont think it gets easier but you do accept it more and find ways of coping without her. Life will be different, it is just going to take time to adjust xx
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I lost my Mum in May, she was my best friend and it has left such a void in my life. The past few months have been such an emotional rollercoaster, especially having to deal with all the firsts.
Right now I’m just taking each day as it comes,there have been days where I have felt totally overwhelmed with the grief and its better to let the emotion come than keep it in.
The days and weeks after Mum passed I felt as if the whole world was going about their daily business and I wanted to scream at them to stop do they not realise what I am going through.
My mum taught me though that life has to go on and that is exactly what I am trying to do but there are some days where I feel I can’t do it. I find setting myself a small task each day helps even if its just washing my hair I take that as a win.
You are not in this alone and its a comfort to have a forum like this.
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Hi @Ginger48,
I agree, setting yourself small tasks each day is very helpful. The loss of a parent is such a big thing, especially when you’re close, it can be overwhelming at times, particularly when we are going through things they would of supported us through, it’s good to have something to focus on, even if it is just something simple, like washing the dishes, or a short walk to the corner shop for milk. The trick is to not look too far ahead, just take it one day at a time & do what your comfortable with, even if some days I feel like staying in bed & binge watching box sets, it’s an accomplishment. 
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Bless you. I lost my mum in May aged 90. And never felt anything like this, ever. It is so hard. But I’m fighting. Carrying on each day at a time. I am on my own and lived with mum all my life. My partner lives a long way from me. Days are rubbish when you are on your own, and I am surrounded by all mum’s things in her family home. I am so grateful that I had such a beautiful loving mum, who meant the world to me; we were such ‘best’ friends. It breaks my heart to think I’ll never see/hear her again and never be able to see her beautiful smile, go shopping and have days out, just having a coffee at the garden centre, or trips in the car. Everything is such a massive reminder, isn’t it? Miss her incredibly, but life goes on. Doesn’t make things any easier. Life is so hard without our mums. xx
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Hi @youareunbelievable, just take one day at a time thats all we can do. One thing I will be forever grateful for is having a loving Mum who made me the woman I am today. I hope that I continue to make her proud.
I’m so grateful that I made the decision to move in with her when she was diagnosed and that I got to spend the last 6 weeks with Mum. Part of me wishes we could have had longer but that is me being selfish. I didn’t want Mum to suffer and I know that she is no longer in pain and she is with my Dad after losing him 17 years ago 
. I know not everyone believes in this but it gives me comfort on days when im not feeling the best.
I still need to remind myself that it has only been 3 months, and I keep thinking I should be further on in the grief journey. This is something that is never going to leave but in time I will hopefully learn to live with it.
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It’s only 7 weeks since Mum died, but I don’t feel as if I’ve started to grieve properly. I’ve been so wrapped up in making sure Dad is okay because of his failing health. He will soon be settling into a care home for palliative care, so maybe I can take a few minutes to reflect on Mum. Me and my wife have had a few days holiday booked since last September for a week’s time, but I feel guilty about going. My brother has told us to go and get away. Clear our heads and take some time for ourselves.
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So sorry. Losing your mum is unbearable. My mum passed away 6 weeks ago,and you feel like your heart is going to break in two.Im sure our mums would be saying don’t cry .keep strong x
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I’ve been watching a lot of Youtube recently. A lot about our loved one in spirit and all about them… think it helps me to understand what (hopefully) there may be, it certainly gives me comfort listening to some of the videos on there.
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Hi
Unfortunately I’m in the same situation there is no one like your mum and I personally miss mine every single day the loss is physical as well as emotional, so much goes around & around inmy mind but I never get any nearer too accepting I will never see her again , life is so hard my heart goes out too all those hurting & missing their loved ones .
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Sorry for your loss. My Mum passed away 2 months ago today. You’re right, it’s heart breaking and feels unbearable. It feels like you’ll never get over it, but slowly you will. I’m just starting to turn a corner and come to terms with losing Mum. I’m sure that our Mum’s would want us to stay strong and not spend too long grieving for them.
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Grief lasts a life time, as the love also does.
Hi @claire11223
Welcome. I am new here too but have been grieving a long time and for a long line of losses.
I am extremely sorry to here about your loss of your mum and at such a young age. I lost my mum in 2018 when I was 30. Do you have siblings?
Each person deals with loss different so it really hard to give advice and my advice will be a hard pill to swallow, but I found the first year was easier to cope with than the 5 that just followed. I feel I was busy organising everything making sure had done right by mum funeral wise and threw myself into work, had a relationship breakup later the same year, had to move house, then moved again the day of my mums 1 year anniversary. Baring in mind too that my mum passed the day before birthday and in March so there was mothers day the same month. So my grief didnt really begin until after the first year.
Since then I found it harder to deal with my emotions, but I entered a new relationship, and talking with him about the loss and having him really listen, did help me alot. I had a massive wobble after the 3 year mark and we got a puppy (now I’, not saying thats the answer but it sure did help me) it gave me a focus and a project to train him. He saved my life as cliche as that is.
I have just recently in Feb lost my brother who was the next best thing to my mum and I feel Im going to go through it all again but, that is why I am here too, to try and get support in any form. So if you need to talk about anything at all, I am sure you will find the support you need here.
Sending you love
Nicola