Losing Mum..

I lost my beloved mum on the 17th of December last year. My dad passed suddenly when I was ten years old, so Mum raised us and worked tirelessly for us.

Sadly, there has been so much conflict within the family since and I am all alone and left wondering what is the point of going on.


hello charlotte, the point is to make use of the remaining time we have to find and experience what this world has to offer us. our mums gave us the greatest gift anyone can give and that is life. my mum left in october and she had been a single mum raising me all alone. lately i find myself asking her if she wants company on the other side, that if she’s scared or lonely to go by herself then i’d accompany her. i know in my heart she’d say stay, enjoy the remaining time you have. don’t follow me until it’s your time. it’s the only thing keeping me here.


I wish I could be so pragmatic. My heart is shattered and I feel so alone. The family thought I had didn’t really exist.

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@CharlotteS it’s a difficult journey without them. My mums anniversary is coming up on the 29th she was also a single parent so all I have ever had. She was like a second mum to my son and he also misses her. It is hard to carry on but I think that they would want us to. I have been fortunate with support from family and friends but I still feel alone as it’s not my mum. Just take it a day at a time it’s all you can do. Take care :sparkling_heart:


I am so all alone; I have no one IRL that I can turn to. I feel like giving up…

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Dear Peterb, I thank you so much for your response.

My heart is absolutely torn to shreds; I’m heartbroken. I have no one IRL I can trn to.

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charlotte, you have to help yourself first. depending on others to bring you out of your grief is futile, imo. grief can’t be shared, you have to find the courage to stand on your own. we’re on our own now. our mums aren’t here to pick us up anymore. just as your mum mustered the courage to overcome her losses we have to overcome ours.


You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
-d. harkins


@Peterb that’s lovely and very fitting of our mums. :sparkling_heart:


Hi charlotte so sorry for your loss my heart breaks for everyone on this sight we are all going through the same thing
I pnly joined this sight last week its brought me comfort ive saw the light at the end of the tunnel
Conflict in familys ive also had the same your not alone everyone on this site support each other


Thank you for responding. I really feel for you too… Anyone raised by a lone parent knows well how hard of a struggle they had, and that the very least that they deserve is a later life filled with peace and the ability to finally enjoy life; as opposed to working, worrying and struggling the whole time. I feel that Mum was robbed of that. : (

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That was beautiful… A friend sent me something equally beautiful by a lady named Donna Ashworth:

On those days when you miss someone the most

as though your memories
are sharp enough
to slice through skin and bone

remember how they loved you.

Remember how they loved you
and do that for yourself.

In their name
in their honour.
Love yourself
as they loved you.

They would like that.

On those days when you miss someone the most,
love yourself harder.


@CharlotteS that’s lovely and very true they would want us to love ourselves but sometimes it’s hard to do that without them. A year ago today was my mums funeral another first and whilst she had a good send off but it just reminds me of when I found her at home and it breaks my heart. I miss her so much as I am sure you miss yours. :two_hearts:

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