losing mum

I lost my mum last week, the funeral is in 2 days time. I feel terrible, cant be bothered to do anything, I dont even want to eat. I already suffer from depression, and I forget everything. My mum told me where certain things were but I simply cannot remember, and they are important. Course, I didnt believe she was going to die so quickly. Its as if she willed herself o die, because she kept saying she wanted to get out of the away. She couldn’t talk in the last few days so couldn’t have a conversation with her then. I keep wanting to pick up the phone to tell her little things, like I always did. Now I’ve got nobody to talk to. I’m having to sort funeral and everything on my own as have no siblings. Just my son but he’s at work most of time. I wonder if I’m ever going to feel better. Now my health is suffering too. My feet are cracking, got constant headache. Everywhere you read says go to doctors for bereavement, but takes a month to get in. Dunno what doctor can do.


Hello @Jools2,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

@Jools2 sorry for your loss. It’s awful and I am over a year in and it’s not any easier and her birthday is coming up on Friday. My mum passed away suddenly and she never had anything planned for her funeral so had to wing it but think I did her proud. The day of the funeral is hard however you will find a strength to get through it. Take it a day at a time it’s all you can do as its a huge loss :heart:

Hello Jools2,
I lost my Dad in December, unexpectedly and sometimes now, three months or so on, it doesn’t seem real. A couple of things that help me daily are to try to look after yourself, the best that you can. Tying to eat, take exercise like getting out in nature and getting fresh air, however hard it may be has helped. Also, taking it one day, even a few hours at a time has helped me to get through each day, one day at a time as well as trying to find bits of time during the day to do things that comfort - at least even a little. Occasionally ringing CRUSE has helped when I feel I need to speak to someone as I live alone and have had to deal with the loss on my own, without help. I hope you can somehow get support in whatever form as that’s the biggest problem I’ve faced being alone.


I just read your post and just want to say what wonderful advice you have given Deborah x

Thanks Deborah, it’s nice of you to say that. Mark

You are very welcome Mark.
Getting through each day is very difficult and any help or advice to and from others can only be a good thing. We all need help and this site is a life saver. I have written that many times and knowing there are others on this site going through the same feelings helps so much. Its about the only place I feel that there are people who do not judge but support each other with kindness and empathy. How lucky are we to have found the site.
keep going to everyone going through this horrible grief
Love Deborah x

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You’re right Deborah, the site makes a big difference - we’re all in the same situation. That’s one of the hardest things I’m finding with people - they are not living in the same ‘bubble’ - even friends seem a bit distant, despite them having gone through their own losses in past years. Being around people who are now going through the same situation makes you feel less isolated. One day at a time. I hope you and everyone else finds a way to a better place.


Totally agree Mark.
Even on this site there are people who deal with grief differently and move on in different ways and at different speeds. Learning from one another helps even though we deal with it individually and move on in our own time. There’s no right or wrong answers and the lovely thing about this site is we are all so respectful to each other.
You really do get a sense that you are not fighting this grief beast on your own.
People on here listen and I personally get the impression people really care. People reply which is massive as initially that’s what we want first is just someone to reply and respond. Then gradually through sharing you learn to crawl out of the big black hole and get stronger slowly of course but it does happen.
Keep posting and take one day at a time.