Losing my baby boy

Losing a child
1

My gorgeous boy passed away suddenly overnight just a few days ago. He was 3 years old. I went to check on him in the night to find he wasn’t breathing. I just don’t know what to do or say or feel or think. I feel a part of me died with him and I just don’t want to be here, I want to be with him. I have two other sons who need me but I’m finding it so hard. The pain is unbearable and I’m in agony. I can’t stop crying and family members are already getting sick of me for it. Does it ever get easier, how?

5 Likes
2

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby boy, @Fernie - that is absolutely devastating. I can hear the agony in your words and I want you to know you are not alone. You might find it helpful to read some threads in this category to see how other parents are coping with losing their child.

Your loss is so very recent, it is completely understandable that you don’t know what to do or think. I wanted to share some sources of support that might help you right now.

  • Child Bereavement UK support families with the loss of a child. They also support bereaved children. You can call their helpline on 0800 02 888 40.

  • The Compassionate Friends support families who have lost a child of any age. They have a grief companion scheme where you can get 1-1 support from another bereaved parent. You can call them on 0345 123 2304.

Sue Ryder also has some resources which can help you cope with grief.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support too. Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,
Seaneen

2 Likes
3

Fernie, I am so very, very, sorry that your little boy died and I can not understand how anyone can be “sick” of you for crying. This may be the worst loss anyone can face, it is life altering and yes, part of you died with him.

There is no reason to stop crying. Your pain must be unbearable and you should be crying your heart out. I do not know if things will ever be easier to handle for you but the people I know whom have lost little ones have survived the pain and loss to live a good life. They had to survive and thrive for their remaining children. They had to remain strong for them.

I suppose they did it hour by hour, day by day.

My heart breaks for you. Such a horror. No one should have to bury their child. It isn’t natural and is inconceivable.

Sending love and hugs.

5 Likes
4

I am so deeply sorry to hear of the loss of your son, please accept my deepest sympathies.
It is hard for people to comprehend the pain of losing a child, unless they have endured child loss, they are ignorant to how soul destroying it is. It breaks you, it is perfectly normal to break down several times a day. I still cry 3 years after losing my son and wont apologise to anyone for my tears. They know where the door is if they dont want to see me cry. If people lack empathy or patience, it may be because they have no experience of the suffering you are going through.
It is very early days for you, you will be suffering the most horrendous post trauma, give yourself time and allow yourself to process all of the emotions you are processing. Try to be gentle with yourself, seek support, counselling helps a great deal. I had a year of grief counselling, it help me a great deal.

Sending so much love to you.

5 Likes
5

So your gorgeous boy passed away. So suddenly overnight just few days ago he was 3 years old so just very absolutely devastating to hear the agony in your words and you are not alone yes the pain is unbearable with your loss you will be agony. And yes you can’t stop crying and your family should be there for you yes know it wont get any easier how take care of yourself always and your other children and just saying why go to see your doctor and if you want to get back in touch with me Lynda

4 Likes
6

So very sorry , you are in shock and disbelief, take things very very slowly, please be gentle and kind to yourself, grief is very personal to everyone, if you need to cry or it helps you then that is fine xxx take care and keep in touch

4 Likes
7

So very sorry you are still are in shock and disbelief so take things very very slowly please be careful and gentle and kind to yourself and grief is just very personal to everyone and if you need to cry or it will help you then and that is fine xxx and take care. And if need to chat to me and keep in touch with me. Lynda

4 Likes
8

Oh @Fernie that is horrific. I am so so so sorry for your loss and i cant even imagine how traumatic things must ne for you. I also cant believe that family will be sick of you crying, they mistvall feel the same. Please continue to reach out on here, there are others who can understand what youvare going through

3 Likes
9

Fernie, just checking in on you. You have survived a month with your heart ripped out of your chest. However you are doing it is okay. Do not think for a minute any of those people “tired” of you crying have any idea what you are going through. You will likely cry for the rest of your life over your child’s death. Figuring out how to live with such pain and loss is exhausting and will be for a long while, meanwhile, pay the bills, feed yourself, the kids and the pets. It is more than enough at the moment.

Much love

2 Likes
10

Thank you for checking in. I’ve been reading all the replies to my original post and finding comfort in them. I am trying to find ways to cope, sometimes I feel guilty over certain things but I’m starting to understand how to avoid feeling guilty and I know I just be here mentally and physically for my other two children. It is so very hard though. The funeral was yesterday and I made the decision not to go. I marked the day in my own special way with my baby son and a close friend. We don’t have a cause of death yet though so struggling even more to get my head round everything.

2 Likes