Losing my beautiful mum to vascular dementia

Hello everyone

I lost my mum three weeks ago. It doesn’t really seem real to be honest. Although she was in a home for the past three years and I was essentially losing her to the dementia anyway this has just knocked me, understandably.

It would be really nice to be able to talk to others who are going through something similar.

Kat x

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Hello @Crumble,

I’m very sorry for the loss of your beautiful mum.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help you right now.

Another good place to get support is the Dementia Support Forum. They have a loss section which you might find helpful.

Take care - keep reaching out,


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Hello Kat, So sorry to hear about the loss of your beautiful Mum. Dementia is cruel isn’t it. I can relate to how you are feeling. We lost Mum on 27th December last year. She has been living with Alzheimer’s for 5 years and in a care home for 1.5 years. Toughest decision we ever made for her to move out from her home but Dad couldn’t meet her needs any more . This time last year we could see her declining and I knew in my heart she would be leaving us soon. Almost one year on. I won’t lie to you here. The pain is still there but we are learning to live without her. Think about her every day and what she did for us growing up and the sacrifices she made for us all. Too many to list! But, we are living and you will to. But for now, your heart will hurt like it’s never hurt before . You have so much to organise at the moment and you are in coping mode. Allow yourself to grieve and surround yourself with people who support that. Just be kind to yourself and in time the emptiness slowly becomes replaced with all the love and memories you shared . I’m in a place now where I just think Mum has opened a door into her new life. She is with her own Mum and we will be together one day again. Gets me through the dark days. I can’t say it is the answer for you but I hope you can find some comfort. Take care, always here to chat ! Jules