Losing my beautiful Mum

Hi Everyone,
My name is Jessica and I am 18 years old, I never in a million years thought I would ever be needing to sign myself up for a bereavement support group especially relating to my lovely Mum. I am beyond heartbroken, upset and stressed for all that is to come. I went to work on a normal day and came home to see my Mum was quite poorly, I then left to go to the hospital (knowing that my Mum was going into the ambulance at any moment),to be then called up and told that she had passed away at home. My family believed it was a heart attack but actually she died of a pulmonary embolism which has been completely unexpected and has emotionally and mentally destroyed my family.
I guess the reason I am writing this is to wonder how on earth do I carry on after such a sudden and tragic loss of my best friend?
Thank you all in advance. X

Hi jessiemay
I am so sad to read your post. You and your mum are so young to suffer this tragedy and I really feel for you.
There are a number of us that have recently lost our mums suddenly that use this site and speak to each other. I lost my mum suddenly to a brain hemorrhage on the 14th june. She had been a quite healthy looking 74 year old who was still very funny and active. She was my best friend. I am 48.
When I was 27 my dad who was 53 had a massive heart attack in bed while waiting for my mum to bring him a cup of tea. I never got to say goodbye to either of them and their sudden deaths have affected me greatly.
In terms of advice, I can really say that taking each hour as it comes, then each day as it comes when you get a little stronger. Reach out to friends and family for support and come on this site and speak to all of us too. There are several younger people on here too who will come and say hello, I’m sure.
There is no easy path to follow I’m afraid. 5 months down the line I cry several times a day. I miss my mum so much it hurts. Although we are older than you and your mum, me and my mum were silly, had a wicked sense of humour, loved a giggle and a glass or two of wine together. We also argued alot but were back laughing together 10 minutes later.
I’m told that things will get better in time but I’m yet to feel that yet with my mum although the pain did lessen with my dad over the years. Have you a good relationship with your dad? Have you got siblings or other people to support you?
Thinking of you at this awful time.
Cheryl x

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Jessica, how heartbreaking for you to lose your mum so suddenly and at such a young age, you are probably still in a state of disbelief and shock. I do hope other younger people on here reach out to you so you don’t feel quite so alone. No-one can take away your grief but it does help to vent your feelings on this forum so please post whenever you need to. You are so young to be going through this, I wish I could give you a hug. Take care Jessica. XX

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I’m am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mum suddenly just over 6 weeks ago. I am older than you, but I think loosing a Mum is traumatic at any age. My advice is to take in hour by hour on the rough days. There’s a lot of rough days. People on this forum will understand your pain. We are going through it ourselves. I’m still in denial and shock. There is always someone who will respond to you. Take care.

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So sorry to Read your message Jessica! I lost my mum 5weeks ago I’m 26 it was excepted she had lung cancer but jesus I feel just as shocked as I did when I was 15and lost my dad suddenly due to a heart attack one minute there next just gone the pain in your heart is awful and intense and I am misled struggling with deep loss confusion and lonelynes I can only say to you and myself through the day pain with my dad that each year gets more copabale your miss them less intensely I keep thinking fast foward 10years I feel okay again but don’t what to wish my life away I won’t to imbrace it we are so young especially you my darling you have your whole life ahead of you and I do believe there with us every step of the way its just so hard not having them physically here! My heart goes out to you I have had a particularly bad day today feeling the edge to call her and getting overwhelmed with the smell of her clothes ect miss her so much and feel she was the one to get me through everything how am I supposed to get over her death with out her but I’m sure with faith hope and love we will get there over time sending so much love to you all x iona x