I lost my best friend on the 14th of May, she was poorly with cancer. Ive lost people in the past years ago and it didnt affect me the way like this has. Dont know if that was because i was only 15 i dont know. But this its like my body isnt letting me fully accept or it is kind of. I go numb, i just work work work. This week did 8 days. Theres been days i just cry out of nowhere, then other days im lile im fine, but my sleep on the other hand has gotten so bad since we buried her. I went through our old conversations, photos. Ive saved one as my display picture on my phone, not sure if it is good or bad thing. As today i see it and its just made me sad, i feel like im not grieving fully if that makes sense. Then one time i punched my mirror. I had this anger come out of me from nowhere was listening to nice music and this rage came out of me. Ill never hit anybody thats for sure, it was just this one time of anger. Ive never punched anything like that before. Ive felt angry before in life however that anger was completely different . I feel like yes i have friends and family but i cant keep going on about it to them. (Sorry fo4 the essay).
Hello @Jessie123 ,
I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your best friend that brings you here.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
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Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
I’m so sorry, this is so hard. I think rage is normal. It is ao very unfair and the rest of the world seems to continue, uncaring. But there are lots of people who will understand your anger and hurt and frustration. The online counselling suggested here sounds good. I hope that you will be able to find some help and support. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to people you don’t know than those close to you X