My name is Paula. I lost my big sister Alison on the 23rd of September 2025. She had a massive bleed on the brain, no warning signs, nothing. She was sitting in the pub drinking with her friends at 6.00pm she had passed away by 9.00 that night. I am really struggling to accept that she has gone, and I will never see or hear her voice again. How can she be drinking and having fun one minute then gone the next. They kept her on the life support machine until her family could get to the hospital to say our goodbyes. She had even had her nails done as she was due to go on holiday with my other sister on the Friday. Now they is only four girls instead of 5 of us my heart is broken I am not really sleeping very well I try to get through each day doing the normal stuff but it’s so hard I feel numb all the time. I tried to go back to work after Christmas but only managed two weeks as I work in a primary school and found it to hard so I am back on the sick also feeling guilty for being off so long but can’t face people at the moment. Will this pain get any better.
Hello @Paula62,
Thank you for so bravely reaching out to the community. I am so sorry for the loss of your big sister Alison. Her loss was so sudden it’s understandable you’re finding it hard to accept.
You are not alone. We have many members who have experienced the loss of a sibling and will understand some of what you’re going through. You can read conversations our members have shared on our Losing a sibling category page.
You may also find it helpful to read our Losing a sibling page on our website. It talks you through some of what you might be feeling, and how to cope.
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Take good care 
I lost my older brother recently. I’m taking it day by day. It is impossible. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.