Losing my big sister

I have never felt so lonely and lost. I feel like I’ve lost myself. I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m constantly waiting for something to click. I don’t believe she’s gone and questioning why. She has epilepsy and suddenly died in her sleep and I never got the chance to say goodbye. She’s my older sister she’s always meant to be here. I’m so scared of forgetting her. I miss her everyday. Any advice would be great

I lost my sister 5 years ago and I still miss her every day it’s as if a piece of me has gone too. Most of all I miss her laugh and her telling me not to be too hard on myself, she was the only person who got me. Since then I lost mum and my daughters husband to cancer as well so it’s been incredibly painful a hug from her would be amazing at this time, if only. Be kind to ourselves give ourselves the love we would have given to them. Take care x x

Hello MGC & Others, I just saw this thread and want to add that I was the member who suggested a “Loss of Sibling” category, precisely because since the devastating loss of my younger sister (two years on) I’ve found loss of an adult sibling is often mimimised in our society. I am so sorry to hear of your sudden loss. My younger sister’s death was also sudden, however I was blessed with the bittersweet gift of being by her side. You have indeed lost a part of yourself. Losing a sibling is losing our past, present, and being robbed of a future with them. A sister is so often a best friend, soul-mate and human diary. To be left without that one person (who as Jeanette so aptly put “got me.”) is to be lost , lonely, and wondering how to face a future without her. You do not say when this happened, however I can assure you, you will never forget her, A bond so strong can not be broken, not even in death. I think of my precious sister every day, dream about her, cry, but also sometimes even laugh at the funny things she would say . When we lost our Mum, my beloved sister & I held each other up, and grieved together, Every life crisis will be harder now, because I lost that consistent love & support.
I hope you have family and/or friends to turn to. This forum is also a safe place where you can share your pain, and someone will always respond with a kind word. My heart goes out to you, and I hope you will post again and let us know how you are faring.
Take care XxxxSister2 :broken_heart:

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Hi MGC. Thanks for your message I agree it’s a loss which leaves you in limbo. It’s a very special relationship between sisters and they can be your enemy and best friend at the same time we did everything together and that wandering about not knowing what to do or where to go is so hard, we had that empath thing and would reach for the phone at the same time “spooky we would say” and laugh. I find strength in asking myself what she would say to me in situations where I question myself and that’s something that will never leave me.They can still give us strength. Jx