Losing my brother feels like I've lost myself

Hi Darcy,

I’ve just joined this site tonight because my beloved brother died on 11 January, 2025 in New Zealand. I flew out to be by his side. I sat with him for 9 days, night and day in the hospital and watched him take his last breath. I was feeling really alone at home tonight, and I read your message, Darcy, and I thought it was very moving, and I could have written it myself. My brother was my best friend, too. We were each other’s cheerleaders in life, and I am bereft that I have lost the person who loved me the most, and who was the most loyal person to me, and me to him. I can’t imagine I’ll ever have that again. So that part of your message really resonated with me about your brother being your soulmate, too, as I understand that. I feel like half of me is missing, I am having moments where I want to honour his wishes for me to carry on in life, get a dog, live in a sunny country, and find a good man, and I want to do that. But I just can’t imagine where I will find the strength to get through the years without him. I definitely don’t understand how I still have my job right now as I show up, but I am definitely not there! Thanks for listening, and I guess these messages prove that we are not alone. Sending peace to you. Charlotte x

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Hello Charlotte
I am so very sorry on the loss of you dear brother. I lost my only sibling Francis, Feb 14th 2023, to lung cancer, he fought and won 2 cancers, got a sarcoma in his leg which spread to his lung
I can totally understand everything you say. My brother was my rock, living here just us two, he was so caring, kind, and my soulmate. I suppose everyone suffers grief in different ways, but i cant come to terms or accept he’s gone, two years later, i have tried everything, but just like you, missing him terribly. I send you best wishes, if you wish you can pm me. And I hope that life is good to you soon, take care, this is a wonderful group
Kind Regards
Norma

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Hi Norma

I am sorry that you are missing your brother badly. It is very hard, losing someone so close in age who knew you so well and who is irreplaceable. Thinking of you.

Kind regards

Sue

Hi Charlotte

I am very sorry for your loss. I agree that finding the strength to be without him is so hard. You are doing well to be at work.

Thinking of you.

Take care of yourself.

Sue

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Thank you Sue, it gets so unbearable at times, i have tried everything, councilling, meds, books etc. Friends are good but their lives go on, naturally thats normal.

Hello Suzanne, thinking of you, sending you kind regards i too know how you feel. I lost my only sibling Feb 2023 to cancer. I cannot only cope hour by hour. Best wishes
Norma

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The other day i wanted to tell my brother something funny which was relevant to us. It was unbearably painful. It is 4 and a half years since he died.

Kind regards

Sue

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It is hard Sue, when one would be used to sharing things with them.

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Sending you best wishes Darcy, terribly sorry for your loss

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Hello Norma

I am thinking of you on the anniversary.

Kind regards

Sue

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Hi Norma

I am thinking of you on the anniversary.

Kind regards

Sue

Thank you Sue that is so kind of you. Its as hard 2yrs later than first day. I appreciate your kindness, thank you

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