Losing my brother

I lost my older brother, 45 earlier this year. He died from liver failure due to alcohol with pancreatitis and diabetes type 1 as influencing factors. I’m struggling to come to terms with it.

We unfortunately fell out a year prior to his death, we always had a very up and down relationship! My brother had a lot of demons and due to constant drama and trouble brought to my door I made the decision to step back! I never thought deep down that we would never speak again! I will never get the chance to speak to him, to have been with him when he needed me! I feel so sad! That is the only word I keep using constantly, that I just feel so sad!

As soon as my dad rang me and told me he passed, I went down the hospital straight away and sat with him! We wasn’t informed how bad he was, he was always in and out! I saw him in hospital, at the morgue, at chapel of rest 3 times! I planned his funeral, wrote his eulogy and organised all flowers from my family! I tried my hardest to make it right for him! My way of taking the burden off my parents and also wanting to do it for him!

How do I begin to deal with my feelings, of hurt, of guilt, of sadness, of denial??? They come and go all the time and I still feel no different to the day I found out! I almost ignore it so I dnt feel it bt then when I do it hurts again!

Nothing I can do can ever change it! He’s gone and I won’t get to fix it!!!

Hello @Red29 ,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling so sad and struggling with guilt. I’m so sorry to hear about your brother. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.

You might also find this Sue Ryder article helpful: Sibling loss: Coping with death of your sister or brother | Sue Ryder

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex