Losing my dad and myself

Hello I’m 28 and I found my dad dead in august. He was 50 and it was completely unexcpexted. I am constantly surrounded by people but I still feel really alone. I dont know why I’m on here I think I just hope that someone has some advice or suggestion for what the hell i do now?

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Hi beck
I’m sorry to read about your dad. 50 is so young and life can be cruel.
I’m on this site because my mum died suddenly in june and ivd found talking to people on here to be such a lifesaver. I honestly dont know how I have come through the last 7 months without her.
I am 48 and she was 74.
However, when I was 27 and my dad was 53 my mum found him dead in bed. She had only got up to make him a cup of tea and when she returned he was gone
A PM revealed a massive heart attack.
Do you still have your mum for support because my mum got me through the death of my dad. Unfortunately now I’ve lost her as well life feels very hopeless but I will get there. I have a lovely partner and 12 year old daughter who i have to be ok for.
It still early days since your dad died and in a way you are probably still in shock.
Come on here to talk as well. It will definitely help.
Cheryl x

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Hi Cheryl,

Yes I still have my mum but I dont feel like shes coping very well. Shes probably trying to be strong for me. I’m so sorry that you have lost both of your parents that must be so difficult. People keep saying it gets easier but I’m not seeing it. I feel like its getting harder because it’s just longer that I haven’t seen or spoken to him and we spoke every day. He was my rock and soooo funny. We always had the best time. Thank you for your reply
X

Hi beck,
I know. My mum was active, funny, great company and my very best friend.
The passing of time does not make things easier. Its unfathomable that I haven’t spoken to my mum for 7 months. She lived with us too so the house is so quiet without her.
Here if you need to chat.
Cheryl x

Thank you so much Cheryl x

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@Beck, I’m so sorry for your loss.
I was struck reading your post, as I’ve only just turned 27 and lost my Dad in November and found him in his bathroom. He was only 64.
The reason I came on this forum was to chat to like-minded people as like you, I feel so alone with the grief. My Mum and Dad split when I was a baby, and my Mum has really let me down in terms of supporting me through this. She was actually the first person I called when I found out but failed to show up. I also lost my uncle 6 months before, so my family are still grieving him and I don’t have anyone to sit and cry with. My grandma, Dads mum, is currently in hospital diagnosed with dementia so I can relate to feeling highly overwhelmed.
One thing I would say to you, is don’t expect much from yourself. Don’t let anyone push you, or tell you how you should be feeling or what you should be doing. It’s coming up for 12 weeks since I lost my best friend, my closest relationship and I’m still in shock, denial and in sheer pain. Some days I wake up crying and screaming. I’m still signed off work by the doctor and still don’t feel ‘ready’ to face it yet. I used to feel so guilty, and pressured by others saying they went back within a week or whatever but the truth is your grief is your own. Only you will know when you’re ready. I’m still waiting and I’ve accepted that that’s okay. We’ve suffered the biggest loss and I hope you’re being supported properly. I don’t think I’d still be here if it wasn’t for my partner.

Take care and feel free to message anytime.
Everyone on here has been a godsend and it’s the only time I really don’t feel so alone.

X

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