Losing my dad to young

I lost my dad yesterday due to the after effects of covid. He had a cardiac arrest and there was no brain activity. I got to say goodbye to him and saw him when he passed but I don’t know how to deal with this. My 21st birthday is in a few weeks and I know he would have been planning a massive surprise and have loved to be there. He’s now going to miss out on a massive milestone. I just miss him so much, life isn’t fair.

Hello Cats.

I’m so sorry to hear about the very recent passing of your beloved Dad, and our condolences go out to you.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here, and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.
It’s very early days for you, but please know we, and the community are here for you.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling

I am confident our lovely members will respond to you very soon. They will hopefully help you through the coming weeks,

Take care,


Online Community team

Hi cats
I’m very sorry to hear about the loss of your dad
My husband died last April from covid aswell We had been married 43 years Yes I agree life isn’t fair and it doesn’t always go how we would plan
It is hard when a loved one dies especially when you’ve got a big birthday coming up it just makes it all seem worse knowing that your dads not going to be there to share it with you
it’s very early days and you need to be kind to yourself and just let your feelings out What could be more natural to have feelings for the person we love ?Read the posts on this site as I do and continue to let us know how you’re doing and feeling I hope you can find some comfort knowing that others on here can relate to your feelings and offer you support
Your birthday will come and go It won’t be as you planned but you will get through it Just take the days one at a time
Thinking of you and take care
Christine x

Hi Cats, I lost my dad in August from heart failure. I am twice your age, so your dad must have been very young. I am so sorry you have to face this at such a young age. I am still Dad’s little girl, and I feel lost but I’ve finally signed up for bereavement counselling at a local charity. I’m sure I will be able to move on and cope with losing my dad, but right now I feel like a huge part of me is missing as he was my best mate. Just keep reaching out and sharing your feelings as it helps. You are the same age as my daughter, so it’s so heartbreaking that you are facing this at her age but you were strong enough to ask for help so soon - that is a sign that you will get through this but right now let yourself feel sad. I put a lot of effort into saying goodbye as best as we could with the restrictions of funeral attendance. That helped a lot. I just wrote a big list of what I loved about him and asked his friends and our family their favourite stories and included them in the service.

Thank you for your reply it does help reading through the topics on this page, I know I will get though it eventually. It just makes me sad to think about other people being sad like my grandma, no one should have to burry a child and my mum, they had so much planned once he had retired and now she can’t grow old with him it’s just not fair.

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Well the funeral director came round today that was hard but it’s just another thing out of the way now. I’m absolutely dreading the funeral I don’t want to go really but I know I have to. I just don’t know how I’m going to cope with it.

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Hi Cats,
So sorry to hear about your Dads passing. I lay my Dad to rest on Wednesday (he was 56yrs old) I’m absolutely dreading it. My sister has also just turned 21, she was my Dads little princess. Life sometimes can be so cruel, I know me and my family will never get over this, we feel robbed of our Dad,husband,Grandad. I just hope as time passes this pain eases for me and my family, and also yourself. I wish you the best of luck for the future. Liam.

It’s just awful, I think I’m completely in denial about it. It feels like he’s just going to walk through the door, is that how you feel?

Exactly that!!! It sounds silly but it’s like I’m waiting for someone to say it’s all a mistake. I did it when we got the call from hospital, explaining their was nothing more they could do. It happened when I went to the chapel of rest on Friday. Just this morning I walked into my kitchen and said out loud “my Dads dead” I’m struggling so much to accept. I dread going to bed at night. I just keep telling myself, it would break my Dad’s heart to see us suffering like this, so I have to be strong for my Mum and younger siblings. It breaks my heart seeing my family like this. It’s horrible knowing this is one problem I can’t fix. I sincerely hope your pain eases in time, I really hope the worst is behind us both. Liam.

I feel exactly the same, it’s nice to know your not alone when feeling these types of emotions. I hope with time yours does to, everyone says it gets easier so let’s just hold onto that bit of hope.