Honestly just found this site while googling I’m 37 my dad brought me and my siblings up from when we was babies my dad was my absolute world I was his main carer the last 10 years had a fall last year in September and since then has had nothing but problems was in and out of hospital the last 6 weeks was told he would be going home he would have at least 12-18 months or longer to then be told the next day to call family he has 24-48 hours my mind was blown he passed within the first 24hours my heart is completely shattered I can’t process it it don’t feel real my heads telling me to forget it all like it’s not real and his gonna ring me or his just gonna appear sick of people telling me everything will be alright when all I want to do is scream or leave and just walk and keep walking till I’m lost I just sleep day and night my heads full of questions or what ifs
I understand this. My Dad went into hospital and we were also told he would be discharged, right up until the night he died. We’re also suffering the same things you described. It’s the false hope that the hospital gave us both when they promised discharge. They told you everything would be alright, and then suddenly it wasn’t. And it’s that which has made everything worse. I went through this two months ago. I spent a long time looking after my Dad, as well, to the point that I actually miss doing it. I bet you feel the same.
I can’t give you a solution. I can only advise you to get out, if you can. Visit family, stay with friends if they’ll have you. We went to visit family for a week. It helps to get out, renew relationships, talk to people who knew your dad.
Hi Mike yes me and my dad had a whole routine I feel like the hospital failed him I was told he had sepsis 3 times then they retracted it I’m the youngest of 3 siblings my dad past 15th April I feel like everyone has moved on with life and forgot about him I feel angry also at everyone I live with my partner of 17 years and our children once they have gone to school I shut down when I have a little cry my partner will be like what’s the matter and I feel like I have to keep repeating myself as to why I’m upset like he should understand the death is still raw and I’m angry because he says he understands yet both his parents are healthy and alive
He won’t understand until it happens to him. It’s a harsh truth but it’s real. It will take time. It doesn’t just stop with the funeral. He was a huge part of your life and you will miss him forever, but you won’t always grieve the same way.
Start a journal. Written or typed, up to you. Write down all the good memories. If you feel like it, you could have a second journal for the bad feelings, where you write down what’s bothering you, today. But keep the good memories journal separate and try to use that journal more often. We respond emotionally to the memories we spend the most time thinking about. Try to the spend more time thinking about the good memories. Talk to your siblings and get their memories of him, the conversations, the jokes you shared, the holidays you had. You’ll always miss him, and the false hope the hospital gave you has made the pain worse, but you can still remember the good times and carry those memories forward. That should be his legacy, because he wouldn’t want you to be in pain.