Dear Mariner,
Losing your dad is horrible, I know, I’ve been there.
As for taking a picture of him when he was dying, like your sister did for an art project, I personally find that strange. Do you know if it this was something he had agreed to after she had explained what she wanted to do with the picture? Because if he had, and she had his permission to do so, that would make it a bit more acceptable.
Wishing you strength and comfort at this difficult time.
Jo
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Hi Jo
No way had he agreed. He was unconscious at the time she did it. I think mum had stepped out the room for half an hour. It was sneaky.
She has said shes a pagan witch.
Xx
Hi Mariner,
Do you normally get on well with each other? At the moment you, your mum and your sister need each other’s support so it may not be worth having an argument about it and risk falling out with your sister at this time. How are you doing yourself? I remember how I felt the first few weeks after my dad died and it was not easy. Take care of yourself.
Jo
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I am very sad Jo. We normally get on reasonable. We ar waiting 3 weeks for funeral. I am off work making me very anxious over money now.
Hi Mariner,
It is very understandable that you are very sad and feeling anxious.
3 weeks is a a long time to wait for a funeral. In Holland, where I can come from, funerals usually take place within 5 working days and my siblings all had employers who gave them paid time off. In the UK unfortunately this doe not seem to be the same. My employers were very good and I was able to take time off using some of my annual leave. They also gave me paid compassionate leave and my GP was very helpful too when I felt unable to return to work so I was on sick leave for a few weeks, then started back on reduced hours before going back to my full hours. I don’t know what job you do, but could you maybe do reduced hours, or do some work from home if you think you could cope with that? That would at least take some of the financial pressure off. Or would your mum be able to help you out financially, even with a small loan? Working when you are grieving is hard, but it can also help to get through the days by having something else to concentrate on for a little while.
Jo
Thank you so much for reply. I dont want to ask Mum for money as she has cost of the funeral .
I work in a shop so cannot do at home.
I am walking every day an hour or two.
Uk is crap. 8 hours ompassionate leave !!
@Sarah5 how are you coping now we are getting so close to Christmas? I hope you’re OK. I’m struggling some days but trying to make it special for my son.
@Mariner so sorry for your loss. How are you doing now?
Take care x
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Had funeral and didnt do him justice. Was at a crematorium. I left my notes in funeral car so coudnt speak.
My sis said a few words. We didnt get to talk to people after and didnt have peopl in house coz of lockdown
Hi mrs Rl yeah Christmas is approaching fast isn’t it. I’m struggling this last couple of weeks myself got to be honest. The closer it’s getting the harder it becomes doesn’t it.
Like yourself I’m trying my hardest for my son.
Yr struggling to now its getting closer bless you.
Hope yr ok. X
@Mariner so sorry. We had the same for my Mum. Only 10 people could attend, her life long friends couldn’t be there. We weren’t allowed a wake after. This year has been so much harder for those of us grieving.
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@Sarah5 sorry to hear you are struggling as well. I have been the same. Christmas is coming around so fast. Exactly, the closer the it comes the harder it is. I struggle to imagine Christmas Day without my Mum there. I’m putting on a brave face but struggling inside. I won’t be sorry when it’s over I have to say. We just have to be strong for our children I guess. Thinking of you x