Losing my dad.

I am so sad & numb lost my dad 8 weeks ago to lung cancer work related. He was diagnosed end of January went down hill fast as there was basically no help from the hospitals as it was during the first covid . As the covid virus was around they totally forgot all cancer patients. It was as if cancer patients were stuffed to the back while the virus was around.
As it was like I said we fought hard for hospital to see my dad but he was told it was not safe for him to go to hospital & not safe for nurses3to come out to home & see to him.
This then resulted in my dad going down hill fast & passing away at beginning of july.
I am so angry. & heartbroken missing him so much.

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@Sarah5 so very sorry for the loss of your Dad. Your situation is terrible that your Dad was forgotten and pushed to the back because of covid :sleepy: Lung cancer is an awful disease. I lost my Mum at the beginning of lockdown, she also had lung cancer (fit and healthy prior, never smoker) and did not respond well to treatment. Although not due to covid we actually felt she was not given the right treatment resulting in her going downhill quickly in the end. She was put on immunotherapy, which did nothing for her but they kept her on as said it was slow working. Then she kept getting infections and had pneumonia so they had to wait and when they did suggest a different chemo, she was far too ill and died 2 days after seeing doctors who said to come back in 2 weeks. Covid has definitely made everything harder for those fighting cancer and those who have lost loved ones too. It is awful that cancer treatments could not continue, as it really is very important to have when time is of the essence. I’m not surprised you’re angry. I hope talking on here helps a little and to know you’re not alone with being heartbroken as well. I miss my Mum so much too, she was a friend as well as a Mum and has a left a big hole in my life. Take care of yourself and keep talking if it helps x

Hi thankyou for your message.
So sorry to hear about your mum too, it is such an awfull disease. Its awfull to think that before the diagnosis they both my father & your mother were very fit & health people. My dad was never a smoker either.
Aw I’m so sorry that your mam was not given the correct treatment, it is so heartbreaking isn’t it.
Yeah the covid definitely has made it alot harder for cancer patients to receive treatment which makes me so angry.
Thank you so much for your message it does help to talk to someone who has hone through same thing.
I bet you do miss your mam bless you.
I miss my father so much too it heartbreaking.
Lovely talking with you x

Hi, sorry for your loss, my dad died of heart failure on 29th Sept, he was 83 but had lived with it for years, and was well just until he went into hospital with chest infection, he had had these before and recovered, but this one got real hold and the doctor told my dad & my mum that he wouldn’t be be leaving the hospital, he fought valiantly for ca few days until he passed. We weren’t allowed to see him cos of COVID and he is having a non attended funeral, it all happened so quickly, and think I was in shock for first week, but now it’s hit me hard. I feel your pain

Hi again Sarah5,
I am so sorry I didn’t answer your message. I was notified of a new message on here today and saw your reply. How are you doing? I hope you’re OK as can be.
It really is an awful disease and heartbreaking that they were very healthy and fit before. It makes me angry too that anyone that needed treatment couldn’t receive it, cancer will not wait! I’ve heard of a few people locally that have died because they could not have treatment because of the virus, it really is disgusting!
It does help to talk and please continue to message on here if it helps you in any way.
It really is heartbreaking missing them so much :broken_heart: Life is very hard sometimes. Take care x

@University2013 so sorry for your loss as well. I was in shock and denial at first too and then it hit me. Covid has definitely made it so much harder and impossible to grieve properly as well I think. It’s so sad they will not have the funeral they deserve. x

Hi mrs RL ,
That’s no problem at all.
I’m not too bad thankyou, have my days like everyone else, especially now that Christmas is comming fast too.
Yeah it is very hard when they fit & healthy before too. No cancer will definitely not wait & with the covid outbreak yet again some poor people wont be receiving treatment again :sleepy: it is so disgusting.
Yes it does help to talk & thank you very much for doing so. Yes it is really heartbreaking.
I agree life is very hard sometimes.
I hope you are ok too.
Thankyou for messaging its lovely.
Feel free to talk to myself at anytime too.
Take care x

Hi there university 2013,
Thankyou very much.
So sorry for yr loss too.
That’s it you are in shock at first & then it hits you like a tonne of bricks :sleepy:
Covid had definitely made it harder & impossible for people to grieve properly.
So very sad that they will not receive a funeral they deserve.
Hope yr ok. Take care x

Hi there thank you very much. I’m so sorry for yr loss too.
Aw I’m so sorry about yr dad very sad😪
The covid has made it so hard for people .
So very sad that they cannot receive the funeral that they deserve.
It was like that for me it all happened so quickly, my dad was diagnosed in the January & passed away beginning of july on his birthday.
Like you it all happened so quickly that yr In shock for weeks. Then it definitely hits you hard.
It happens so quickly for yr dad too then.
Hope yr ok lovely. It just breaks yr heart dont it.
Really hope yr ok. You can message me on here anytime if it helps you by talking.
Take care x

I know exactly what you mean. I’m dreading Christmas! I will make the effort for my son, as my Mum did for me. I understand now how my Mum must have felt as she lost her Mum as a child very close to Christmas and always dreaded it, but she always made the effort for me too.
No cancer won’t wait and so many people are suffering and will do because of it. It is so very unfair.
I’m ok as can be, I have good and bad days like all of us really. I try to keep busy where possible, but when I have more time to think in the evenings etc it hits me more and I find it hard.
I saw you lost your Dad on his birthday, that must have been heartbreaking :sleepy: I lost my Mum 2 days after her birthday in March on Mother’s Day, so those milestones are going to be so tough for both of us sadly :pensive: Same here.
I’m here to chat anytime :blush: x

Hi Sarah, really sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad. Can totally relate to the anger you mention. My Dads body was found in May. He was in major pain with his stomach ulcer and couldn’t get hold of his usual prescription for it, issues with the pharmacy/doctor (as a result of Covid). He called for an ambulance once night and they saw him but I think he was probably released too early because of the virus. This was in March (when it was safer to be at home than at a hospital). I think he died at home shortly afterwards. I feel angry too, because I feel like if it wasn’t for Covid, my Dad would still be here. There are a lot of us in this situation and it breaks my heart. I’m missing my Dad a lot this weekend. Things will get easier. Thinking of you and I’m so sorry once again for your loss. xxx

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Hi steph thanks so much.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad too very sad.
The covid has caused alot of devastation this year for alot of families.
I feel your anger as when we had the virus around first time the hospitals pushed alot of patients to one side that needed treatment but they just concentrated on the covid patients.
There is definitely alot of us in this situation & it is truly heartbreaking.
I know how you feel I miss my dad so much too.
Just think yr dad is with you always.
I always think that it comforts me.
Hopefully things will get easier for us all.
Thinking of you too & thankyou for messaging.
Your very welcome to keep messaging me if it helps to talk.
Take care xx

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Hi Sarah, how are you doing now? I hope you’re OK. I have been thinking of you and others I have spoken to on here, especially with another lockdown coming up. I think it will be hard for all of us x

Hi mrsRl struggling this week. The nearer we are getting to Christmas the more it’s getting to me. Knowing I always saw my dad every Christmas morning plus he always used to dress up as Santa Christmas eve for my boy. He would come to & just give him a little something to open before Christmas day. I’m so gutted. How are you doing yourself lovely ? Hope you are ok. X

MrsRl yes & another lock down going to be really hard for us all x

Hi Sarah5, I’ve been the same as you and struggling this week. I’m the same with dreading Christmas! I want it to be special for my son, but I just don’t know how I will face it without my Mum. Your Dad sounds like a lovely man, what a great thing he did for your son. I can imagine that will be missed so much :cry: It’s coming up to my Dad’s birthday so that will be hard without my Mum there and then my mother in law has a special birthday coming up, which I’m finding hard to think of as my Mum will never reach that age and it’s hitting home I’ll never buy her a card again or think of what to get her :pensive: It’s so hard with that and Christmas. I think the lockdown will be hard for us all too, this time of year is worse too than the last one as don’t always want to be outside. We spent the last one in the garden a lot. Feel free to message if you want to chat x

Hi mrsRl aw yr feeling the same this week too are you. Its si hard ain’t it. Aw christmas is going to be hard for us both this year ain’t it. I’m the same as you too I want it to be special for my son also but dont know how going to get through it with out my dad. Mums are everything ain’t they. Yeah my dad was a wonderful person my son loved it when he used to turn up xmas eve dressed as Santa. :sleepy: he will be missed so much. Aw I hope yr dad will have a lovely birthday . Everything for first time is going to be very hard for us both losing a parent. Oh lovely it’s so heartbreaking ain’t it hope yr ok. I know how yr feeling very cruel world.
Yeah the lockdown making things worse this time of year. The last one didnt mind being outside in the garden in summer time. So hope yr ok. Will be thinking of you around yr dads birthday. It is lovely talking to you thankyou . Your very welcome to message me too anytime you would like a chat too. X

@Sarah5 how are you feeling today? It is really hard. I just feel like everyone around me is moving on with their lives and this is all forgotten for them too. I also find it hard when people moan about things like not seeing others because of lockdown etc and I think at least they will see them again.
I think Christmas will be very hard for us. I bet your son did love it, what a lovely thing to do.
I was the same in the last lockdown, spending it outside in the garden. This time of year isn’t great for the mood either normally. It has been lovely talking to you too :slightly_smiling_face: x

Hi mrsRl feeling a little better today. Hope yr ok too. Oh it’s so hard ain’t it watching all around knowing that the whole thing is being forgotten.
Aw that really bugs me too that’s all you hear during lockdown. Like you said at least they get to see them again, we not so lucky to get that chance. To me it’s like if I’m still in a horrible dream.
Cant wait to see the back of this horrible year that we’ve had so far.
Your right there this time of year isn’t great for the mood .
Take care , x :slightly_smiling_face:

Just lost Dad. It horrible

What do peopl think of a pic of dying parents arm being took by a sister for so called Art project. I am horrified.