Losing my dad

Hi, I lost my dad last November he was diagnosed with terminal cancer about 3 months before he died. He was fine (with drugs) up until a week before he died. He then went down hill very quickly. We managed to get my children to see him before he died, he knew who they were which was lovely.
I am really struggling at the moment for some reason (before the Queen dying) all I keep seeing is dad lying in his bed not being able to speak, dying and I can’t shake it off even trying to think about happy times doesn’t help. And driving over to mum and dad’s house brings back those awful memories of the drive over there that night.
A “friend” said to me the other you must have been expecting him to died as he was old (he was 79)
My question is when does it get easier… I get the impression people think I should be over it by now… Its worst now!


Dear @Rosie888

I apologise for the delay in not replying sooner. You are grieving and there is no time limit on grief. Everyone grieves at a different pace. There sadly is no quick fix to grief, you have to take it one day at a time. It is a rollercoaster ride of emotions with good days and bad days. That is normal.

Does it get easier? It does in time but in your time, not when people think you should have moved on. It could be a year or longer, the pain does get less intense of losing a loved one and you learn to accept that they are never coming back. That does not mean you love them any less.

Sue Ryder has a helpful Grief Guide whic may be of help to you. It will help you understand and cope with your bereavement and grief. There is also information on by Sue Ryder on Losing a Parent which will be of help and support to you.

You can also connect with members who have been in a similar situation as yourself by typing Loss of a Parent in the search bar.

You are not alone, we are all here for you, please continue to reach out and if you need any more information, please email online.community@suerydercare.org.

Take care.