losing my dad

got a say this isaint me but people say i should talk I lost my dad September i have been numb since my brother took control didn’t tel us he was so ill didn’t allow no import in funeral told us he put photos with dad but we learnt he didn’t have been waiting ta see were dad final resting place is but as refused ta tel al the rest of family but then dads birthday hit on 30th December and its hit me i fill so sad very angry and numb like it hasnt happend i cant shake of how i fill want ta be myself but its like iam a differnt person wat helps

Hi Paul,
I buried my dad yesterday and there were things I wasnt happy about too. I was the black sheep of the family. Getting in trouble with the police in my younger days, I was shunned for many years by the family.
Over the years the distance between me and my family decreased and we finally started getting on again.
However if feel I had no part in anything to do with dads last days. My sister seemed to me like she wanted dad in a hospice before it was really necessary. My wife was a carer for 20yrs and was able to tend to dads needs for most of his last days. But my sister had talked about getting dad into the hospice weeks before.
She is all for my mum and it seemed like she just wanted to get rid of dad as he was an inconvenience to her.
I decided to keep my thoughts to myself as i didn’t want to cause any more upset .
But i feel lots of things were kept from me that I should have known about.
It is so hard . I miss my dad so much.
I suffer panic attacks everytime i try to sleep so I have to exhaust myself to the point I collasp into sleep.
I feel your pain I know what you are going through. I’m not one like yourself who talks to people about stuff like this. But i have to find a solution to how i feel or I feel it will destroy me.
Im here if you fancy a chat.
Take care pal.
Yours andi.

thanks andi for getting back sorry here to hear your sad news mine was in September but fill more angry as days go on like I am in a cloud doesn’t know whats happening yea i get what your saying and a chat would be nice

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