I lost my Dad in September and I’m feeling really lost and sad. I keep telling myself I’m ok but I’m really not I miss him so much and I don’t feel like I have anyone to talk to about this as I don’t want to put things on to them. I just want to get back to feeling like myself again but then I feel guilty for wanting that. I’m finding Christmas really hard, I have two children and want to make it special for them as they lost their Grampy but Christmas is making miss my Dad even more.
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@Xjr Sorry you find yourself here & sorry you’ve lost your Dad. There are many of us on here in a similar situation, contemplating Christmas for the first time without our Dad’s. I lost mine in March & like you, I miss mine very much. 9 months on seems like a lifetime & those early thoughts & fears are heightened with the festivities. I don’t have any words that can make your journey easier but I do understand how it feels.
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My sympathies. 
I also lost my dad recently and it’s my first Christmas without him here. It’s hard when you don’t have anyone to talk to, but you can feel you can vent here, there’s always someone who listens.
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I lost my wonderful beloved Pops in November. It was a shock. It was due to medical negligence in primary care. His dad reached his 100th year, and there was no reason to think that my dad wouldn’t achieve the same.
My focus now is on making sure that everyone who my dad loved and cared for are loved and cared for - my mum, siblings and nephews. It will be hard. Hopefully people are gentle with you. I’m NHS-employed, in a clerical role, and they’ve been amazing. They even advised me not to come back until at least the new year, because there won’t be many people to support me over the Christmas and New Year period. And they encouraged me to ask my GP to recommend a phased return, once I’m ready.
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