Losing my dad

Losing a parent
1

Hi all
I am new here

My dad started being poorly in January 2023 by losing loads of weight and he got tested with loads of test and nothing came up.
The doctors at the hospital diagnosed my dad with Myelodysplastic syndrome and then in November 2023 my dad got diagnosed with Vascular Dementia.
My dad got worse in November 2023 and the GP sent him to hospital for scans and x rays.
They took a while to come back the scans and x rays .
On Thursday 14th December he had a phone call of his GP saying that they are going to send an ambulance because he had pneumonia. The ambulance came and the paramedics said that they think he had sepsis to.
Dad got admitted to the hospital and doctors did tests and they where thinking he might have TB to. Plus while he was in hospital he had a mini stroke because he speech was slurred and it was quite hard to understand my dad.
On Monday 18th December I had a phone call of my mum saying that dad has gotten worse and he might not make it .
So all the family came to be with dad. My dad was sleeping all the time and he was settled.
The sister of the ward came in and said that they are going to reduce the oxygen to 25% every 15 minutes and they did this twice more and my dad took his last breath.

We had Christmas and New Year and on Friday 5th January my mum had a massive heart attack. Mum came out of hospital on Tuesday 9th January 2024 and then we had dad’s funeral was on Thursday 11th January 2024.

I saw my dad took his last breath, I went with mum to do the death certificate and I attended my dad’s funeral.
I still keep thinking he is still alive and he is enjoying life with mum and the dog .
I still keep thinking it’s just a bad dream.
I want my dad back and I miss him dearly

I suffer with mental health issues and my mental health have gone worse and I started to self harm again.
I can’t sleep because when I do close my eyes I can see my dad take his last breath.

I have got a supportive family .I have got my husband and my son .

When will the nightmare will end ?
I just can’t cope anymore with it all
I am just at a dead end

I have got an GP appointment on Tuesday 6th February 2024
Will it be a waste of an appointment ?
Should I go to the GPs appointment ?

What is the next stage because I just don’t know

Thanks for reading

1 Like
2

Hello @Queenie2,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m really sorry to hear that you are struggling with self-harm. We know that grief can be so painful to cope with. But it’s important that you reach out for support with this; you matter and you don’t have to do this alone.

  • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text REMEDY to 85258 and talk to them about anything.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

Please do reach out for further support - you are important and deserve help.

Take good care,
Alex

3

Yes, go to the appointment. And ring The Samaritans. I did, recently. They are very good.

Hugs.

4

Hi there Alex

Thank you for replying to my post.
Thanks for the links for self harming , Samaritans and Shout .
I haven’t heard of shout before .
I have got an appointment on Tuesday 6th February with my GP
I will reach out for further support.

1 Like
5

Hi there

Thanks for replying to my post
Thanks for the advice and I will go to the appointment .
To be honest I don’t like phoning Samaritans . I like to do a face to face appointments or e mail.
Thanks for the hugs . I really need them at the moment
Hugs back

1 Like
6

Good luck! Keep posting. :yellow_heart:

7

Thanks and will do xxxx

1 Like