My dad passed away on 29th Jan after a battle with cancer. I miss him so much.
I am trying so hard to be strong for everyone around me, but I feel like I’m drowning. Everytime I think of him I feel like the airs been punched out of my chest.
How do I cope with this grief😥
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Sorry to hear of your loss.
Its definitely not easy and everyone deals with loss there own way ,its just finding whats going to help you go through this journey.
I myself lost my partner of 22yrs through cervical cancer and for me it was and still is the most horrifying ordeal i have witnessed someone go through.
Grief is a process that has no time scale .
I think of my partner all the time and i miss her so much .
You will go through so many stages and if you can learn to cope then you might get some normality back but its a process that takes a bit time.
Ive turned to poetry ,something i thought i would never do but i have and it helps me a bit .
I also attended bereavement counselling which lifted my mood for a while.
I hope you stay strong and get help if needed.
I am so sorry for the loss of your Dad. It sounds like you’re taking on a lot by trying to be strong for those around you. He was your Dad, so you too are allowed to have feelings and grieve, though I understand the pressures of life and the world make us feel we have to 'be strong '.
I can’t and won’t pretend to be able to give advice, but I can relate and empathise with you. I lost my Dad on 26th January completely suddenly to a catastrophic brain haemorrhage. I do really relate to what you describe about the air being punched out of you. I am constantly having moments where I stop in my tracks and feel someone has taken my breath away from me when I get an image of Dad or a strong thought about him being gone.
This is such a raw time for us and the pain is almighty. Keep talking on here, although our grief is all different we are all weathering this brutal storm together and at least we can all cling onto that small life raft together as we talk about the way the waves crash and throw us around.
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Thankyou for this. I’m really sorry for your loss xx
It brings me comfort in knowing I am not experiencing these feelings alone.
I just can’t believe he’s gone. I’m going to see him in the chapel of rest next Thursday. I’m dreading it…so scared but I have to see him one more time as I know it’s the last time I will ever be able to kiss him or touch him. I saw him after he had passed in the hospital, I wasn’t scared then and took comfort in just being with him but I’m worried he will have changed a lot and it will be the only image I can remember of him.
I don’t know how to feel about anything anymore,.my head feels so foggy with grief x
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Thankyou for your reply and I’m so sorry for your loss. The kind words make me feel less alone so I really appreciate it x
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You are not alone. I feel your pain. The pain in my chest sometimes I feel like my heart is going to stop beating with the pain of losing my dad. I just try to breathe through it.
Never felt pain like it in my life.
Thought surely Dads live forever but unfortunately not. My heart breaks for everyone on here as I feel your pain I really do. I hope u find the strength to go on even if it is just day by day. Just think of your parents looking down on you with pride. 
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My Dad died in a hospice. He was only there 24 hrs. The nurses apparently couldn’t increase the end of life meds quickly enough to make him calm and comfortable because they apparently have to be seen to make the increases when necessary and incrementally. They tread a fine line between making someone comfortable and euthanasia.
So what we saw was awful because Dad suffered those last 36 hours, was conscious when he suffocated. He opened his eyes as it happened , stared at us looking so sorry and heartbroken. It is the most painful thing I will ever see and haunts me.
So I was advised to see Dad at the chapel of rest as I was reassured Dad now looked at peace. Yes, a person looks different when they have died, but Dad looked so much better than he did in that horrible final hour and the horrific last few moments. I was so glad to hold him and kiss his face for one last time.
I am glad I followed the funeral director’s advice and saw Dad.
Make sure you ask how your father looks now - as a person changes as the days go by. If the funeral director says he looks at peace then it might be a good idea.
Take care
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So I went to see him in the chapel of rest and I’m so glad I did. He looked very different and not quite like my dad…but the cancer had taken hold of him and he had changed so much anyway. I felt comfort being able to say goodbye and kiss his face one last time. He looked at peace. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do tho.
His funeral was last Friday, he had a natural burial, it was beautiful just as he had wanted. Family came that I hadn’t seen in years…so many people loved him they really did. I feel it’s still a dream tho…like he’s in the next room. I see him in my head, it’s like he never left… I just wish I could remember his voice tho😢
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