Losing my dad

Hi,

I’m trying to find some support after losing my dad. He lost a 10 year battle with cancer 3 weeks ago. The last month was very traumatic and distressing for everyone involved. I was at the hospital almost every day, he kept rallying and we thought he could go home but ultimately his body failed and he passed away.

I’ve been depressed for months now, I have bipolar disorder but this is a new kind of sad and usually I come through episodes after a few weeks as I rapid cycle but I haven’t come out of this one. He was diagnosed as terminally ill in November and then my grandma died in January and I’ve never really recovered.

My son is suffering from my depression, he is lashing out and very angry. He is 4 and has been finding emotions difficult. Today at preschool he broke his teachers glasses on purpose because he got angry. I’m sure this is because I’ve had such a short temper recently and can’t seem to get myself in a place where I can react well with him. He asked me the other day why I didn’t laugh anymore. Can’t remember when I last felt genuinely happy. I don’t know how to get through this.

I don’t know if anyone can help or give me advice I just needed a place I could write it down and send it into the void

3 Likes

Hello @Franabelle,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

You might also want to look at this article : Losing a parent

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,
Alex

@Franabelle so sorry for your losses. You seem to have a lot on your plate at the moment. I think ypur son might be feesing off your anger? Kids tend to mimic parents. The sadness of grief can be an unforgiving beast, you seem to have been hit twice recently. Have you spoken to your GP? Maybe get some help? Does the school know the situation?
This site is great, helps you vent and put your feelings down. Certainly helps me.